yo. new journal. rooted_lotus.

i added everyone that actually still uses this thing. add me back if you feel like it.

see this is the thing. sometimes i feel absolutely insane, crazy. it overwhelms me and i don't know how to fight it off. i just don't know how. it's unreasonable. it's irrational. and yet it persists until i've faded into an oblivion. and then, there's this transitional phase where slowly things begin to make sense again. i'm not totally numb. poke ( Read more... )

i'm realy home sick. i love it here it has nothing to do with my school or philadelphia. but it's fall now. my favorite time of year. pumpkin spice lattes, PUMPKING BAGELS from bagel art, haunted houses...particularly broken heart's asylum on harvey's lake, carving pumpkins, decorations, scarves. and there's nothing like those nepa leaves when they ( Read more... )

i had a really good time with my friends this weekend. i'm so glad it's possible virtually whenever. i really am. so after walking becca halfway to the trolley stop this morning at 9 a.m. in the cloud's piss, i came back to my dorm and slept until 12:30, haha. i haven't slept that long in...i don't even remember ( Read more... )

i'm buried in school work. all the time. there is no time for hobbies, there is no time for eating (and occasionally breathing). i've written nine papers so far. you heard me. took 3 tests already. i'm doing okay though. i got a math tutor because i suck at math. i remember in high school how it was lame to be tutored. but now everyone has a tutor ( Read more... )

the past 2 weeks have been interesting. i stayed at bryn mawr over the weekend and it was a good time. watched the real world. i miss kettle maker a lot so it was nice that i got to watch her make kettles. her campus is very nice. so many girls though ( Read more... )

my cat was put to sleep. that is all.

can't change your past. can't change a damn thing. but we need the balance reguardless. other wise what would it mean to you?

"a flower falls, even though we love it;

and a weed grows, even though we do not love it"
-dogen

i went home this weekend and it was really nice. i don't understand myself. yesterday shane and i were in my car parked outside of the jazz cafe. and everything just felt so wrong. not him, just my life at that current moment. i couldn't figure out where things were going. i'm not in high school. i'm in college. a college away from my home where ( Read more... )

so i've been in philly since friday and today was my first day of class. so far i like it. it's just a very weird feeling because i don't really know too many people. i've programmed by brain to be okay with the change because i accept that this is my "home" for the next couple months. i do miss my boyfriend a whole lot though and i wish he was ( Read more... )