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A sudden surge of worry...
Its crumbling, all of it. Very slowly and very assuredly. Perfection cannot be maintained over time, only in moments. And the harder i try to maintain control of the world around me, the more i realize that its all in vain. Im slowly realizing that I can't sit here forever hoping to be a kid. I can't distract myself with alcohol nights and a girl ( Read more... ) -
Don't be sad.
I had a strange though tonight. I felt as though I lead two lives. A life of day, where I'm a psyc lab worker, a guy who works out and likes classical music. And then theres the guy of night, who has a shit job, never sleeps, drinks too much and is a bit rough, cold, and unfriendly. I noted the different people I know via both of these lives. I ( Read more... ) -
Insomnia
Here I go, writing again cause I can't sleep. I'm not sure if this is real insomnia, I'm pretty sure I just had way too much caffeine at work and my mind won't calm down long enough to get tired. I laid in bed for 2 hours, mind racing over a dozen questions I've already put behind me. At least, I thought I had.
I've half convinced myself of the ( Read more... ) -
Personality Test
Intellectual
You are thoughtful, rational, and comfortable in the world of ideas. People find you interesting to talk to. You're the living embodiment of the saying "You learn something new every day."
You do not avoid abstract conversation, experimenting with new ideas, or studying new things. It bores you to stick to the straight and ( Read more... ) -
For any that still read this...
Ok, I had a lapse. 8 months of happiness and serenity had left me unprepared and vulnerable to the onslaught of depression left in the wake of a positive emotion's departure. I can't believe how quickly I fell back into the old habits, how quickly I turned to the old demon. I can't believe how I dropped everything to wallow.
It has passed.
Time and ( Read more... ) -
O Fotunua
O Fortune,
like the moon
you are changeable,
ever waxing
and waning;
hateful life
first oppresses
and then soothes
as fancy takes it;
poverty
and power
it melts them like ice.
Fate - monstrous
and empty,
you whirling wheel,
you are malevolent,
well-being is vain
and always fades to nothing,
shadowed
and veiled
you plague me too;
now through the ( Read more... ) -
Just saying..
I'll be the grapes fermented ( Read more... ) -
The Stoic Lives...
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant, for they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit ( Read more... ) -
The four Cardinal Virtues
Wisdom(Sophia)is knowledge, understanding, experience, discretion, and intuitive understanding, along with a capacity to apply these qualities well towards finding solutions to problems. It is the judicious and purposeful application of knowledge that is valued in society.
Courage, (Andreia) also known as bravery, will, intrepidity, and fortitude, ( Read more... ) -
Old habits die hard....
And though I find I'm not immune to those overwhelming bouts of depression, I find I'm more able to deal with them quickly.
My mind's a mess this morning, so I think I should go out to the lakes to clear it. It's cold out, and cold always awakens my spirit. I've gone and tried to let attention dictate my self worth again, and that's just not ( Read more... )