I am going bead shopping today. I have a $30 gift certificate to a store here. As soon as I can get off my lazy ass I will go spend it. I've been in a jewelery making mood lately. It helps me feel better when I can't sleep. Atleast I am doing something.

I am happy that Christmas is now offically over for me. I did enjoy today, being with my family. Yesterday was not so much fun. I feel like a giant weight has been lifted off of my shoulders because most, if not all of the holiday stress will be gone now. It got real bad for me last night, couldn't sleep at all, I tried for a few hours too. I ( Read more... )

I've decided I can't let just anyone see my crazy ranting anymore. You never know who might be reading. If you want to read this and aren't already on my friend's list, leave me a comment.

It was yet again driving me crazy today. I was starting to get a headache and everyone was soo loud. At one point there were a good 7 to 8 people talking and I just sat behind the desk with my head in my hands wishing everyone would just STOP talking. I had to train someone today who did not want to be there and when she went home sick I started ( Read more... )

Still here. Was almost falling over at work on numerous occasions. I didn't take any of my vitals today other than my temp. 98 even. I meant to check my pulse, bp and oxygen level today. I like to check my vitals occasionally. Today would have been a good day to do so. I still have alot running through my mind but im too worn out to ( Read more... )

This is such a bad way to start off my "real" day. I've been awake for a few hours already, but I still have to go to work. I can barely function as it is. Soon I will be accountable for my actions. I am in so much pain today. Three ibuprofen are barely touching this. Barely taking the edge off. Ibuprofen is not going to help where I really ( Read more... )

I am just tired of trying to be okay. I can't promise anything right now. I just don't even deserve to have the hope. Nothing gets any better I want to make things work but I am can't even help myself. I'm not going to try, I don't want my help anymore. I am just helpless. Too fat for my own skin. I don't want anything for myself anymore. No ( Read more... )

I wish I could fix everyone else's problems. I wish I could offer the words to heal things. Even if it isn't my problem, I just want everyone to feel okay. I am sorry that I can't even begin to make anything better for anyone. It's not because I don't care. I wouldn't try if that was the case. I'm just sorry I am so useless, to everyone. I ( Read more... )

I'm trying to make it a point to use this thing. I really have had problems expressing how I feel lately. I just don't feel like I am valid enough to feel anything anymore. Happy, what's that?? Sad, you're just making it all up. Angry? You are just letting things get to you. I can think of a reason not to feel anything that comes into my ( Read more... )

I'm missing someone right now. My dear Betty. I had taken care of her for just about the whole two years I have been at ny job. She died back in November, a month ago this thursday. I remember walking her down to the dining room every night with her husband. I'd always ask her if she was ready to go, she would smile and say "Yep." I remember ( Read more... )