whoa, remember livejournal?

it's been more than a while since i updated this piece of shit. 54 months to be exact. my icon looks like a different dude, but a different dude of equal awesomeness. who's as stoked as me on the sox? yeah?

I've been having these fucking anxiety attacks so much lately, to the point where I'm becoming concerned because each time is more painful than the first. It starts with the thinking. Usually I'm alone although it has happened in the mall around all the shoppers going about their daily lives. Then my normal breathing pattern changes into quick ( Read more... )

how am i supposed to seize this day when everything inside of me has died

I'm so fucked up lately, I'm not myself, I wish I was stronger, I wish I could stop envisioning his filthy hands all over you. I need to go back to being medicated. Fuck.

I can tell you honestly that with every breathe I take I truely hate you and everything you have become. Burn in hell with your new boyfriend. Die.

10 months ago you said goodbye to me yet i see your face every morning when i awake, when i leave for work, when i come home from a shitty day, when i wake up with another girl, when i sit here with a lit cigarette in my mouth, and before i turn out the lights at night. but it's not you. it's merely an image of you reproduced on a photo-sensitive ( Read more... )

I'm so fucking out of here. Next year I hope to be residing in beautiful San Francisco with my uncle who is hooking me up with a great paying job working for the city. And once I have enough money I am getting my own apartment. Starting over. Forgetting everything that has happened here, and keeping my sanity. It's a while away so as long as I ( Read more... )

man, it must suck to be you right about now.

keep talking. you only lose more friends that way.

Honestly, when will I feel better.

At this point in my life I have nothing left to lose and I wish my heart would just explode in my chest.

My first show with Ligeia was yesterday in Asbury park New Jersey. We played In-fest with Dillinger escape plan, Sworn enemy, OBW, Black my heart, From a second story window and about 20 other great bands. It went well, I know the whole set list now so things went really smooth and I met some kids in bands I have been listening to for a long time. ( Read more... )