It dawned on me today, as it does from time to time, that I have a brother. We dont speak often and we when do it is brief. I dont know much about my brother. We grew up in the same house, with the same parents and the same sister. We had a closeness that now is only a blur of unclear memories. I know that he was born on October 17th and that he ( Read more... )

Im so sick of this fucking rollercoaster of emotions. Its up one day, each hour and down the next. Its feeling happy and content and peaceful yesterday to feeling overwhelmed, tearful, anixous and unable to concentrate today. What is this madness? What is this bullshit? Why cant I just feel balance? Its been as far back as I can remember. Sure, I ( Read more... )

there has been some time between writing that's elapsed. [pay no attention to spelling.} bracket, bracket.

I watched the waves tonight with the sun setting on them. And i made sure to keep my posture aligned. (Good body mechanics is important you know.) My shoulders have found a comfortable place in slouching forward...and they are...slightly. I can ( Read more... )

I guess there are some things your just better off not knowing. I never felt that way before in my life. I always had to know everything, and I mean everything. There are some things I'm finding I dont want to know the answer to anymore. Im finding it easier to hold my tounge, sometimes not...when Im overjoyed. I feel a wiser woman emerging from ( Read more... )

it wasnt safe to think about you until now. ive kept myself numb. i didnt allow myself to let you enter my mind even for a second... but its time to level with it...its time to let it go, and its time to heal. there had been times when i felt that it was okay for you to treat me the way you did. but it wasnt okay. it was rotten, and it was unfair. ( Read more... )

i love these blustery nights. i love to walk outside in the rain while it sprays me like a waterfall just out of reach. the way the wind picks up a leaf and soars it through the sky like a sparrow...i love the sounds. the power of the noise it creates as the trees sway heavy in the dark blowing like chaos. the smell of earth and pavement and storm ( Read more... )

men impeed progress.
at least in my life.
this life was not the time for relationships for me i guess....or was it? is that one of my lessons? to make it work, or to have nothing at all? 
i enjoy solitude to the utmost levels.
whats it all for.
whats the point of relationships?
to teach.
ive learned.
ive learned.
ive learned.
no more pain.
no more ( Read more... )

Can you even concentrate?

can you even spell?

what would you say to the person that you had lost? that you had never gotten a chance to talk to ( Read more... )

"doctor, my girlfriend smoked too much weed....what should i do????"

whered he go?

dreamed that i was taking a journey to work at some kind of camp. summer camp. when i got there, it was at the edge of the ocean, so we had to climb over this huge cliff. and it was terrifying. the part we had to take last was right close to the water, and curved. i could see down into the ocean but it was foggy. we went over it. It was like being ( Read more... )