i don't even have words for this level of stupidity

[wizened_cynic]

mayireadtoday suggested that I do a live commentary with drummer_jew2002 for the premiere of Made in Jersey, which is a truly fucking shitawful CBS show in which Stephanie March plays a snarky blonde lawyer. Thank fucking god she dropped out of the show, because even my intense and undying adoration of her cannot make me watch another episode of this dreck.

Comments

[drummer_jew2002]

I feel like shooting myself in the brain.

[wizened_cynic]

I'm surprised you have a brain left after enduring that travesty.

[drummer_jew2002]

I'm pretty sure I only survived because I actually took ADHD medication yesterday. Which, ironically, made me focus less on how it slowly tried to eat away at my braincells like the parasitic show-worm it is.

I totally convinced Hatboy to watch it though. Because I like to inflict pain on my friends.

[gonzo21]

I'm afraid I can only give 3/10 for Paget's Cleavage. Must try harder. Not low cut enough.

[wizened_cynic]

Have some gifs?

[gonzo21]

I don't know why US procedural shows have so many shots of women leaning over desks with inappropriate clothing on, my experience of the police force has never been anything like this. But god bless 'em for it.

[wizened_cynic]

I can't speak for the police, but I can say with certainty that some associates in my office wear NOTHING but inappropriate clothing. (Hence earning them nicknames like Office Slut and Office Slut 2.0.)

[mayireadtoday]

Both of your live commenting was awesome -- hilarious and witty -- so you don't have to apologize. I feel no shame asking you guys to do this. NO SHAME! (Especially since I typed out the F+ review so YOU WERE WARNED.)

Paget looks so pretty! And her hair looks so soft that I want to pet it. But that's not the best shot of Paget's boobs I've ever seen. However, it does look like she's involved in an "epic battle of the cleavages." Who is she pointing her boobs at?

[wizened_cynic]

Oh, I knew what we were going into, we were just disappointed that the show was SO retarded we were left bewildered and unable to snark as much as we wanted to.

Her hair is amaaaaaaaaaazing. I want to pet it too. That's not creepy, is it? Paget was pointing her boobs at Mariska's boobs. Epic boob smackdown.

[gonzo21]

Welcome to Thunderboobs. Four boobs enter, only two boobs leave.

[mayireadtoday]

But you were able to use your fine legal education and recent work experience to point how absolutely retarded they were.

It would only be creepy if you encountered Paget on the street one day and petted her hair. But it's not creepy if you just think about it.

Who won the epic boob smackdown?

[kennedyismyhero]

Dude. While you may not think that was hilarious, I thought it was a hard-hitting, thought-provoking exposè on "THANK GOD I DIDN'T WATCH THAT HORSESHIT". Thank you, and Jew, for suffering through performing this heroic public service. ;)

[wizened_cynic]

Someone has to suffer for the greater good! I mean, I knew going in that it was going to be bad, but I didn't think anything could be THAT BAD. Apparently, nothing is impossible if you try hard enough to suck at it.

[silverturtle87]

So, what I'm gathering from this is that SM was the only redeeming feature and the only part worth watching? I would have assumed that going in I think.

[wizened_cynic]

Not even SM's parts are worth watching, they were so few and far between and even then she wasn't, like, super pretty in it. The makeup was badly done.

I hate this show so much I can't even bring myself to rewatch it to make screencaps of SM, THAT'S HOW BAD IT IS.