Why is it that every time i experience joy a pain thousands of times worse than that joy sweeps over me. Dreams.......oh the fucking dreams.....what arent nightmares, are haunting me. I wake up and think about the past....pour over it thousands of times........... write it down....and then knock myself out of it. I fold up the folder full of ( Read more... )

I was quite happy to see Olivia today.......every time I see her I smile. Every time am close to her, I cant resist but to kiss her. And every time I kiss her a calm, a high comes over me. Those eyes.....her beautiful, supernatural blue eyes....I want to be lost forever in them....to live out eternity in their view.

Its November and I'm still not dead. I celebrate while you plot.....suprise me next time......it might work. There is so much that I want to write in this blank little place in cyberspace, to tell you what is happening deep within this mind as well as what has happened. Oh how the rain had fallen on me, and oh had it washed me clean.....clean of ( Read more... )

There is no more debating the onset of a wonderful life. I really don't want to end up in a position that forces my dreams to be caged. I could have been such a better student and such a better son and I wasn't. And all this comes floating in and raining truth. I definately want to rid myself of the bullshit and drama that comes from the mistakes ( Read more... )

I want to live again, to be reborn. I need to experience , instead of wasting away searching for all the answers to this riddle because that is the real key to solving it all.

I begin this by saying hello to those who actually read my entries. I have left my place of studies in search of better surroundings.... no I have not moved and I am not physically dead. There is a change coming about and I believe it to be something better, something beautiful.....though as to what kind of beautiful or what kind of better is yet ( Read more... )

May they all burn in hell....those who were playing the part of love and friend were found out. All was known and that landslide of razorblades and human waste began. I just want to say...thank you for my complete and utter destruction...it was like ripping rebar out of concrete....hope it was fun for you. (Ambra says HI)Fuck it....no one knows ( Read more... )

Good morning, the red sun rises on yet another beautiful day in the now beautiful world of my mind. Angel has given me the ability to afford such beauty. She has more than she will ever know. She is far more than she has ever thought herself to be. I love her endlessly far beyond the end of eternity. I had had a momentary relapse of my sanity ( Read more... )

I finally am updating......to let you motherfuckers who wish i was dead that indeed, I am. Lets see here..... I lost my mind...but that was a good thing....i have come back to the basics. I am now the person I am intended to be...not someone who I wish to be.On another note, I have fallen in love....with someone equally as distorted as myself. She ( Read more... )

It appears that the weekend is approaching...the days are going so quickly this week, and I am very thankful for that. I have so many things I look forward to doing. There is so much stress that I finally have a chance to relieve....if no one soul decides to fuck that up for me....I'd just snap if such a thing were to happen. As I said earlier, I ( Read more... )