Am I prone to violence? I am not easy to set me off. But were you to threaten those I care about, or myself, I feel like a raging inferno. My blood boils. My body shakes. My heart races and I can't control my hands. Am I product of my environment? Is it all the loud music? Or am I just a bad person when it comes to dealing with anger? It used to be ( Read more... )

I've spent so much time thinking, rereading, and dreaming, that I feel like I can finally see. Like throwing open the curtains to let in the sun and the warmth, the lights are all finally on, and life is returning to everything I see ( Read more... )

Insurpassable
Sinking Feeling
Liar
Liar
Liar
Feeling
Tomorrow
Going Away
Come Back
Never
Always
Forever
No
Yes
Sick
Tired
Dead
Dead
Dead
Lost
Found
Empty
Here
There
Out
Home
Lost
Lost
Lost
Cold
Summer
Water
Docks
Swim
Alone
Think
Think
Think
Hate
Love
Lose
Find
Compete
Win
Lose
Friends
Broken
Brothers
Life
Life
Life

If someone that I've poured that much heart and soul and effort can question how I feel, I wonder if theres any way for me to accurately and honestly depict my inner feelings to anyone at all. I'm sick of everyone telling me how I feel. I'm feeling FINE. I WAS FINE. Everything was absolutely hunky-dory. And now I want to rip my hair out until my ( Read more... )

I am now in the aftermath of what was probably the most tiresome and momentus sequence of events. My mind, my body, resting, recovering from the rigorous stress tests that it just endured. The truth is, it's quite worth it.

I have learned so muchI think that this weekend was the punctuation of that R&R, a long, lazy day and two nights draped in ( Read more... )

This feeling has manifested itself into a demon on my shoulder. A threat, a theory- life is a sick cycle, that's what people tell me. That's what I tell people. It starts with five letters.

T There is nothing that I can do or say that's going to make or break this. I'm trying my best to be honest. "Talk it out", "Tolerate", "Teamwork."

R ( Read more... )

I’m going to explain this in a skillfully choreographed combination of letters, spaces, and punctuation. This is my free floating idea. I’m nailing it down to the corkboard with nothing but cheap printer ink and a thumb-tack-shaped period. This way I won’t have to keep wading through the muddled sentences and dark waters for a piece of the ( Read more... )

My Feng Shui exists where I am warm, where I am surrounded by goings on, but still only immersed in my thoughts. I make space in my mind, for a place of harmony. I've never been able to find comfort in the confines of my own home, so I do what I can to induce such feelings of comfort and security within my mind. In the words of my psychology ( Read more... )

You are why I cannot let my pain rest. You are the self centered, heartless, mindless drone who's only function is to be the stone before the cave, the cave that holds my heart at bay. You crush me. You choke me. I hate you. You turn what's important into what's frustrating, what's difficult into what's painful, what's painful into what's ( Read more... )

A moment to write, a second to breathe. Funny, how in my heart I only wish to grab this moment and wring it for all it's worth, clasp it between my tired and and calloused fingertips with a grip as desperate as a man with no tomorrow. The fact that I see myself spinning makes me frantic; it causes me to be so incredibly weary of every bump, every ( Read more... )