I don't know if my soul can take another 20-30 years of this existence.

The topic of the latest podcast was Ego and Self Image and how we rearrange reality to conform to our own self image.

Here are the first ten things that come to my mind when I think about myself:

1. Failure at life
2. Unloveable
3. Alone
4. No True Friends
5. Clueless
6. Anxious
7. Overthinker
8. Can't rely on anyone except for myself
9. ( Read more... )

I wish this was just a normal weekend. I would be at work dealing with work. Rather than my mind.

So don't want to be here today

Lately I have been struggling with the thought that life has somehow passed me by.

Maybe the way I should be looking at it is WA is foreign to me. I've never lived here before before now what do I ?

People face this every day - move to a new city, country why not apply that experience to my own backyard and think of it as all new.

I owe everyone I have ever dealt with online an apology.

I remember a thought/conversation with someone in which I put online "friends" and real life friends into different baskets and treated them differently.

In retrospect the people I engaged with from the old IRC days added more value to my life than my so called real life friends.

Saturday, Sunday, Monday I did not sleep well.

I was feeling very wound up and anxious - I originally put it down to anticipating what is waiting for me at work on Monday , but last night I slept like a baby.

Which means the anxiety that I was feeling but blaming on work was probably social anxiety in the anticipation of having a visitor.

Hmmmm

1. Take it easy on me
2. Six Ribbons
3. Lost in your eyes
4. Spending my time
5. Should've known better
6. What about me
7. No Second Prize
8. Tyre tracks and Broken Hearts
9. Bat Out of Hell
10. Life is a lemon (and I want my money back)

I had a lovely morning yesterday beaching and chatting away with Elli at port beach.

My target for my holidays is to beach every day either in the morning or late afternoon.

Some light reading before bed every night.


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