What the fuck is wrong with this country ( Read more... )

I've misplaced my  balls 
I was wandering into a mall to go to a movie, when I noticed an old friend was in town having dinner with my mother.
I wasn't invited to the dinner, because they knew I wouldn't go, because the last time I saw this old friend he pinned to me to the passenger door of his car and beat me to within an inch of my life.  ( Read more... )

A tale of intrigue and confrontation, as related to me by a dishonest bald one eyed hillbilly.
"No I was down in XXXX in (name withheld to protect the indigenous people of... wherever), a redneck bar.
This guy was in there with this big ole woman, I mean big.  Prolly went three hunnerd.
Anyways this guy walked all wrong.  I looked at him and said to ( Read more... )

Holy shit!
This is still here!

I got had the distinct displeasure of scrubbing the back of my roommates head off a wall over the weekend. That's a personal first for me. A nine millimeter handgun makes an alarmingly large mess for how small of a calibre it is ( Read more... )

Still alive, working too much, too tire to spell, will write more later.

Tour cancelled, found after five hours in car. Very angry.

Dark lotus tomorrow night at the cat walk, and there's a bar, i'm never comin' back!

Being 21 is difficult, especially on graduation saturday. Might I suggest that all you minors stay underage.
Uggg, My head is gonna hurt tomorrow.

Being unable to sleep at 3:30 on a work night ( Read more... )