A meditative exercise done asking for guidance and strength.  It's almost like an argument with myself. But... I'm not so sure if it really was.... Hmmmm...

Why are you sad?
I'm not getting what I want from life. I feel incomplete. Empty. 
Like there's a void in your life?
Yes. 
How would you fill it?
With something meaningful. A purpose. Something to ( Read more... )

 I am the most controlling, bitter, angry, jealous, lonely and needy girlfriend on the planet ( Read more... )

YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE DANCING!

GONNA DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY!

 I think one of my biggest issues (and notice how I said one of them) has and still IS looking at those around me and seeing them doing things I wish I could be doing.

Seeing pictures of friends out to dinner or at parties, hearing about plays and things they learned in class, reading about employment advances and places they went over the weekend ( Read more... )

 Internal battles are the worst. There is no right or wrong. And no matter what decision you make, you are never truly happy with it.

And there is no one to help you get through it.

Personal demons are not my problem. Coping with them is. 

 You know what I realized the other day?  I am not a very nice person :O I know. Shocking right? BUT! The good news is that by realizing I am not a nice person I realized I have a lot more patience than I give myself credit for ( Read more... )

 Just had a long talk with my dad complete with lots of crying. Poor guy.

Dad made the comparison to my living arrangements with that of prison and it really brought my life into perspective. The nights are getting longer. I have very little choice in when I come and go, and with the winter approaching those choices are going to get even smaller.

( Read more... )

 Bleh! Man do I not like living here ( Read more... )

 Holy crap! This is like... beyond ridiculous ( Read more... )

 So, that same day I wrote the previous entry he didn't come home without telling me for 5 hours. SO. Being the over dramatic, emotional and angry person I am :D I packed a bag, wrote him a page in length note about how we needed some time apart and waited for his step dad to come home ( Read more... )