I JUST PURCHASED THE COMPLETE WORKS OF ZEPPELIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

I found my couch. It is the greatest couch of all time. One might call it the Led Zeppelin of couches.

4000 babies aborted every day. Choose life ( Read more... )

Online at Burger King: Been waiting around for a cheeseburger for fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes for a fast food cheeseburger. Fast food. The old woman finally brings my food to the counter. "Three thirty-three!" I step forward from the throng and claim my prize. "Sorry for the wait." "Yeah, me too." Gasps can be heard. I didn't say "Oh ( Read more... )

If my life ended no one would be effected. I might be missed for a day or two, but then life would go on. I mean absolutely nothing. I am no one special. Why continue? I see no point or purpose.

What a bad ass party.

Baseball!

I saw Jesus Claus. Some skinny guy with dark hair and beard was wearing a Santa suit and thorn crown was standing on the side of the road.

Meat Helper is fucking awesome!!!

http://www.giagdv.co.uk/funny/XmasTune.mp3

Oh my God. The best Christmas song ever.

I went to Barnes and Noble tonight. I had every intention to use my guaranteed to never work B&N pickup line. But, alas, my dinner was not agreeing with me so I made a quick trip to the ladies' room. Whilst sitting on the john some other guy walks in. Judging by his voice he was a large black man. He said, "Man, this is tearin' me up." Then ( Read more... )