A Second, Third and Fourth [NC-17; Naruto/Sasuke]

[worblehat]

Title: A Second, Third and Fourth
Author: worblehat
Genre: Naruto
Pairing: Naruto/Sasuke
Rating: NC-17
Notes: Er...sex?
Word Count: 578

Comments

[hope_assassin]

I have to admit that I've been noticing it for a while but this time it became really, really apparent--you don't use ANY substitutes for the characters' names. O_o It becomes a bit too frequent to call them by their names so often and it looks weird. I thought I should point that out in case you cared about giving it some thought. xD

Anyway, very nicely written lemony ficlet. ^_^ Loved it thoroughly!

[worblehat]

Haha, that's funny - before I got reviews that said I used epithets too much for characters, so I've been sticking to their names more. I don't like using things like "the Uchiha" or stuff like that - sounds corny - and saying "he" makes me confused as to whom I'm writing about. If you have any other suggestions, I'd be more than happy to take them! Otherwise, names it is. :D

Thanks!

[hope_assassin]

Yes well, indeed, it's always a matter of the golden middle, I guess. :D Just "the Uchiha" could be "corny", as your other readers have pointed out, if it's all you've used. I've always believed that it's a matter of alternating between various overall nicknames based on a characteristic

[worblehat]

Ahh, no, I appreciate the feedback. I didn't mean that people who read said it was corny - I think it sounds corny and therefore won't use it. Like the whole "onyx-eyed" thing...I dunno, it's not really me. Still, I'll keep in mind what you said and attempt a happy medium the next time I write something. If I fail, alas! Haha. But I do appreciate the feedback. ♥

[doctorsidrat]

Woohoo, sex! That was really well-written. :D

And please, please don't start using stuff like "the raven-haired boy," "the golden child" or whatever; it's completely ridiculous and starts getting annoying. Seriously. Seriously. "Sasuke" and "Naruto" are perfectly fine; I didn't think anything was wrong with this piece when that was all you used. I like that you only used their names, in fact. It's a welcome relief from all the "dark eyed teen" shit.

Ahaha, sorry for ranting a bit, there, I just get really annoyed when people rely on "creative" descriptions for characters' names. We don't need to be told that they're the last member of their clan or that they have blond hair or whatever because we already fucking know! We don't need a reminder every three paragraphs. Okay, okay, I'm going before I hurt something.

[worblehat]

Thanks so much!

HAHAHAHAHAHAH. You have no idea how much I loved reading this comment, because I've been in the same boat for a while. Which isn't to say I necessarily mind the whole epithets thing, but...I dunno. I like changing things up once in a while, but whenever I read "the Uchiha," I feel like I'm reading a documentary about a dying breed of something-or-other. Which...Sasuke is, but I mean...that sometimes fits awkwardly with a story about a relationship. I don't really want to be reminded of the nature channel when I'm looking for smut. >.>

So basically, thanks for reading and for the laugh. ♥

[momentofdelight]

er, I don't have anything to say about the names >__>

but I liked it lots and lots!!!!!!!

<3 <3

I found your journal yesterday- and have been making my way through it today. your amazing. everything is so awesome. I also think you may have opened up some new fandoms for me. oh noes >__<

[momentofdelight]

I just sounded like a huge creep, stalking your journal and all. eep.

[worblehat]

Ahaha, it's fine either way - I've tried to keep variation in mind since writing this, which I think has been helpful.

I'm glad you enjoyed it! And don't worry, you don't sound like a huge creep; I've often spent a few hours just combing through someone's fic. And if I opened you up to new fandoms, so much the better, in my opinion!

In other words, I'm thrilled. Thanks so much for your comment. ♥