When you fall
Old kinkmeme fill, I just remember I didn't have it in the list of all my fanfiction.
Germany is here of one reason. Russia is, boosting morale on his own side and causing frightening damage. So now Germany has to go to this godforsaken place, named after Russia's boss and defended furiously on his orders. He can't understand why it has taken so long but now when he is here to balance out Russia's presence it should be over quickly, soon enough for everyone to get back to their families for Christmas.
Stalingrad looks appalling. It's the ruins of the city he has seen in photographs and heard Russia proudly describe.
Germany is hesitant over the strategical decisions and voices his concerns as carefully as possible.
“Your job is to hunt down Russia, kill him or capture him,” his boss says. “Leave the rest for the commanders.”
So that's it. Germany focuses on his objective, his boss and his generals have the rest under control.
His first encounter with Russia is right next to the Sixth Army's camp. He sees the soldiers around him fall and is surprised that he isn't attacked too.
“Germany,” Russia softly calls out in that high-pitched, childish voice. Here, surrounded by the dead, it comes off as even more unwholesome than usual. “I wondered if you would dare to come here, if you would dare to show your face after inviting me to your house and promising me friendship. I wondered if you were going to send your brother instead. But this will be better, so much better.”
“You never meant to keep your word either,” Germany says. That's what his boss told him and he believes it.
“Perhaps I did. Perhaps not. You will never find out because you proved to the world that you are a lying liar who lies.”
The childish insult is delivered with such fury that Germany almost shivers. Russia and whoever else is out there withdraws in silence. Germany looks down on his fallen soldiers. One of the held a bottle in his hand, now dropped next to him. None of them had their weapons ready. Germany is going to tell the others to be more vigilant.
Next time Germany has the advantage on his side. He and his group of soldiers have cornered Russia and some of his snipers in one of the abandoned trashed buildings.
“You already lost,” Germany says. He tries to keep his voice as calm as possible to counter Russia's rage. Berserk fighting won't win him this war, calm planning will. “Surrender and spare yourself further needless death.”
“Not one step back,” Russia roars somewhere inside. “Come and take us if you think you can!”
Germany sighs and give orders to take the building. It should be quickly done.
It isn't. Germany's own soldiers fall while Russia's snipers cowardly run away protected by their nation's fire. Soon only the two nations remain. Neither have any ammunition left so they merely circle each other. Germany is hurt but still standing, Russia's coat is stained with blood but he smiles the demented smile he always wears, you can never tell what he actually feels.
“When I come for you, you will regret this. Remember when I hunted your brother back to Berlin, France back to Paris?”
“I remember when you got beaten up by Poland and Finland.”
“We got Poland later, didn't we? And Finland, Finland is so small and has almost nothing but defends his home so well. Imagine how well I can defend my home when I'm so much larger and have so much more.”
“You have nothing,” Germany sneers, the Russians might try but he is not impressed with their organization. They have numbers but numbers are useless against his machines.
“Go home,” Russia says. “There are no admirers of your nation in my capital anymore, there will be no mercy when the tide turns. You should hurry back and prepare.”
“Surrender,” Germany says. “While you still have anything left to offer us.”
They are both uncertain how hurt their opponent is, Russia is as hesitant as Germany to get into melee. Russia must know he can't hold Germany at the moment, not as long as he dominates the battle. Russia is not as strong as he pretends to be, his untrained forces falls apart faced when facing German professional soldiers. But Germany still prefers to not get that close with Russia whose eyes shine with madness.
They both back away, promising each other pain when they meet again.
Russia isn't nearly as frightening as everyone said in the past when he can barley stand and lends against a wall to vomit blood. Germany feels a brief moment of satisfaction. Soon he can tell his older brother who told him this was a mad idea of how the invasion of Russia went almost flawlessly. Very soon.
Russia wipes the blood of his mouth when he realizes he is being watched.
“So this is a day when you tell me how weak I am instead of shooting on sight?”
Leningrad still stands, Moscow still stands and Russia's boss endures. Germany knows he can hold Russia as little as Russia can hold him. The only thing they can do now is to try to break each other's spirits and weaken each others armies. The Russians are stubborn if nothing else.
Germany once more tries to tell him how pointless this is.
“I endured worse than this,” Russia says. “A lot worse.”
But his eyes say something else.
The battle drags on. Germany's tanks and strategies don't work as well inside a city like this. They have to fight their way through every single house, Russians might be hidden anywhere, their beloved snipers make everyone nervous. You might suddenly drop dead, killed by an enemy no one can see.
Germany has been shot so many times that he lost count. He hunts Russia more carefully now after he began to realize how he had thrown his soldiers lives away in his conviction that Russia would crumble as easily as his people. The people who have stopped crumbling and fight dirty in the ruins of the city, lives are still thrown away but the survivors are getting good at what they do.
Russia might be afraid but Germany's people are beginning to be too.
It fills Germany with satisfaction when he for once is the one aiming for an unaware Russia. Russia drinks deeply from a bottle probably containing vodka. That says everything about the Russians, not strange that they aren't a match for Germany when they drink even in the mist of battle.
Then Germany sees it. Russia casts two shadows. Germany rubs his eyes, yet he still thinks he can see something human shaped next to Russia, an old man watching over the nation.
Things like that don't exist, no matter what legends that surround Russia. General Winter is a myth for incompetent generals to blame technical mistakes on.
Germany takes his shot but the shadows distract him. He only hits Russia's shoulder. The large nation goes down and out of sight but Germany knows it won't be for long, he will be back soon.
The shadow of winter worries Germany and he tries to ask his boss to speed things up.
The small voice deep inside that says perhaps you shouldn't do this at all tries to fight it's way to the surface again. Even if Russia is crazy and evil and no one likes him they are going too far. Germany forces his doubts down, his boss told him this was important, vital to their future. Everyone else do their part, he must do his.
Aren't you coming home soon? Italy writes. I have no one to play football with and I already bought you a Christmas present but then I ate it. Sorry. Things are scary here without you, please come home because I'm lonely.
He has also thrown in exclamation signs everywhere and scribbles that include hearts but that's how Italy is. Germany misses him, it's like having a family that doesn't constantly yell at you to shape up. Of course he loves his brother, he only sometimes wishes his brother would show affection in other ways. On the other hand, Prussia's guys know what to do while Italy's are barley equipped. If his other allies were as effective as Prussia instead of affectionate perhaps he wouldn't still be here in this depressing place that is starting to get cold as well.
Then it gets really cold. From a safe distance Russia mockingly asks how Germany likes this nice mild winter breeze.
Germany loses control for a moment, screaming obscenities at the giggling Russia and shoots his entire magazine at the enemy he can't see. He is freezing, he gave away his warm coat to one of his soldiers because he knows that a nation like himself isn't going to get frostbite. At worst he is going to get uncomfortable and they will soon have better winter clothing anyway. He used to believe this with utter certainty.
“I'm defending my home,” Russia then says, unusually serious. “Are you really willing to follow as far as I'm ready to go for merely conquest? Run now, while you still can.”
Russia wasn't lying. Compared to what comes next the previous cold was like a pleasant autumn.
Russia and his army encircle them. But it doesn't matter, the Luftwaffe can provide them with supplies and backup is on it's way, Germany hasn't heard that part officially confirmed yet but it has to be true.
When Russia passes by his smile has reached his eyes.
Germany knew they weren't going to circle and mock each other forever. He imagined he would have the upper hand in the upcoming confrontation. It shouldn't be like this.
Russia takes his bullets and knocks him down with pure physical force. With Russia on top of him he can't breathe. Russia's people easily take his prisoners while they are shocked over how easily their leader was beaten down. At least they are actually taken prisoner and not executed in front of him, they both done things like that earlier and now Germany begins to regret it. It's too easy to be overcome with fury in the cold and hopelessness and end up doing things you never thought you would even consider and afterward think you just dreamed doing.
Russia stands up and looks at him with an innocent expression. Hopefully this is just a dream as well. Russia puts a foot on his knee, applying a little pressure. Then he stomps down. Germany cries out in pain and now he knows for sure this isn't a dream, dreams don't hurt like this.
“Scream more, dear Germany. I waited so long to hear this. One more scream, for me?”
Russia crushes his other knee and Germany screams again, he can't help himself.
“Such a shame I can't drag you back home yet... But we can still have fun, can't we? I will see you fall Germany, soon there won't be enough of your people to protect you from me. Soon there won't be any of your people left at all. Everything your people did to mine we're going to pay back. We will remember this and we will remember Leningrad.”
Russia has stopped telling him to go home. It's the last thing coherent thought Germany manages to form.
His soldiers finds him nailed to the floor with knives through his hands. The smell in the room reveals that at least one of them threw up. Germany lies down and doesn't try to move for a long time. He tells his soldiers to not touch him, to wait a little while and talk to him, distract him from the pain while he heals.
One young man tells him about his family back home and it hurts in an entirely different way. It reminds him that his soldiers are more than the statistics and resources he tries to think of them as to be able to go on. For the first time Germany seriously wonders if they really should be here.
The supplies do not arrive as promised. The winter has come and it is the Russians who have the reinforcements. Everything is falling apart. Now it's Russia who watches Germany with an amused smile, not attacking even though he could. And Germany doesn't have ammunition to waste for someone who isn't going to stay dead.
Germany wonders if Italy bought him another Christmas present, if he is ever going to find out if he did. He wishes he had treated Italy's soldiers better, that could have been his present to Italy.
Because they have almost no food left Germany eats nothing, he can't freeze to death and he can't starve to death. Right now this does not feel like a blessing.
He wishes Italy had sent him that gift instead of eating it and dreams about what it could have been. He misses Italy so much and if it was only Italy here instead of Russia pressing him against the wall and breathing ice into his face.
“Perhaps it is my turn to tell you to surrender while you still have something to offer us,” Russia says. “My commanders think I should tell you that. But I don't want anything from you so I won't.”
Around Russia it's even colder, winter and death follow him like old friends.
“Does General Winter really exist?” Germany asks. He can't be sure if he is going insane or if it really is Russia's unofficial patron saint who claws at him, holds him in place for Russia to play with.
Russia laughs at him.
“He attacks us as brutally but we have learned to be strong. If he beats you, you have no one to blame but yourselves.”
Russia twists his hair and kisses him, Germany tries to melt into the wall and disappear but no such luck. Only Russia has supernatural forces at his disposal. He is so cold that Germany feels numb, paralyzed by Russia's shadows. How could it have came to this, all planning unraveled by factors they should have seen coming from afar?
“You're not even fighting back anymore,” Russia complains. “Why is your army so useless now? It isn't as fun when you are the ones starving, is it? We endure in Leningrad but you fall apart so easily. Soon, very soon, I'll take you home with me. Don't you look forward to that?”
He slaps Germany's face a couple of times but General Winter's pawing hurts worse. Russia eventually lets go and tells him to be more amusing next time.
“You have to leave,” Germany's general says. “Imagine the consequences if Russia managed to capture you.”
Germany can't leave his people behind like this, can he? But on the other hand, what would be the point of a senseless sacrifice? He can't turn the tide now and eventually Russia will stop playing around. He isn't quite sure anymore that Russia wouldn't be able to hold him. Especially now when he fears he is going insane. In daylight, among his own people, it's easy to convince himself that Russia's General only was an hallucination caused by cold and hunger.
“Retreat while you can,” his commanders insist. “We will hold out for a little longer.”
Germany looks over his army, his once so impressive force that cut through Russia with little resistance. Everyone comes to Russia to fail. Perhaps, perhaps he can return home, regroup and send more forces. Perhaps he can make peace with England and concentrate on Russia, Russia and his communists no one ever liked anyway. Perhaps Russia can't do all the things he taunted them with.
But what if he can?
Germany leaves everything behind and the shame burns so badly that it feels like a physical wound. Behind him he can hear Russia laugh hysterically.
"Hope you like this sight!" Russia screams. “This is how your home will look like when I'm done with you! Go ahead and run. It doesn't matter. I already know the road to Berlin!”
Germany keeps running without looking back.
Germany is here of one reason. Russia is, boosting morale on his own side and causing frightening damage. So now Germany has to go to this godforsaken place, named after Russia's boss and defended furiously on his orders. He can't understand why it has taken so long but now when he is here to balance out Russia's presence it should be over quickly, soon enough for everyone to get back to their families for Christmas.
Stalingrad looks appalling. It's the ruins of the city he has seen in photographs and heard Russia proudly describe.
Germany is hesitant over the strategical decisions and voices his concerns as carefully as possible.
“Your job is to hunt down Russia, kill him or capture him,” his boss says. “Leave the rest for the commanders.”
So that's it. Germany focuses on his objective, his boss and his generals have the rest under control.
His first encounter with Russia is right next to the Sixth Army's camp. He sees the soldiers around him fall and is surprised that he isn't attacked too.
“Germany,” Russia softly calls out in that high-pitched, childish voice. Here, surrounded by the dead, it comes off as even more unwholesome than usual. “I wondered if you would dare to come here, if you would dare to show your face after inviting me to your house and promising me friendship. I wondered if you were going to send your brother instead. But this will be better, so much better.”
“You never meant to keep your word either,” Germany says. That's what his boss told him and he believes it.
“Perhaps I did. Perhaps not. You will never find out because you proved to the world that you are a lying liar who lies.”
The childish insult is delivered with such fury that Germany almost shivers. Russia and whoever else is out there withdraws in silence. Germany looks down on his fallen soldiers. One of the held a bottle in his hand, now dropped next to him. None of them had their weapons ready. Germany is going to tell the others to be more vigilant.
Next time Germany has the advantage on his side. He and his group of soldiers have cornered Russia and some of his snipers in one of the abandoned trashed buildings.
“You already lost,” Germany says. He tries to keep his voice as calm as possible to counter Russia's rage. Berserk fighting won't win him this war, calm planning will. “Surrender and spare yourself further needless death.”
“Not one step back,” Russia roars somewhere inside. “Come and take us if you think you can!”
Germany sighs and give orders to take the building. It should be quickly done.
It isn't. Germany's own soldiers fall while Russia's snipers cowardly run away protected by their nation's fire. Soon only the two nations remain. Neither have any ammunition left so they merely circle each other. Germany is hurt but still standing, Russia's coat is stained with blood but he smiles the demented smile he always wears, you can never tell what he actually feels.
“When I come for you, you will regret this. Remember when I hunted your brother back to Berlin, France back to Paris?”
“I remember when you got beaten up by Poland and Finland.”
“We got Poland later, didn't we? And Finland, Finland is so small and has almost nothing but defends his home so well. Imagine how well I can defend my home when I'm so much larger and have so much more.”
“You have nothing,” Germany sneers, the Russians might try but he is not impressed with their organization. They have numbers but numbers are useless against his machines.
“Go home,” Russia says. “There are no admirers of your nation in my capital anymore, there will be no mercy when the tide turns. You should hurry back and prepare.”
“Surrender,” Germany says. “While you still have anything left to offer us.”
They are both uncertain how hurt their opponent is, Russia is as hesitant as Germany to get into melee. Russia must know he can't hold Germany at the moment, not as long as he dominates the battle. Russia is not as strong as he pretends to be, his untrained forces falls apart faced when facing German professional soldiers. But Germany still prefers to not get that close with Russia whose eyes shine with madness.
They both back away, promising each other pain when they meet again.
Russia isn't nearly as frightening as everyone said in the past when he can barley stand and lends against a wall to vomit blood. Germany feels a brief moment of satisfaction. Soon he can tell his older brother who told him this was a mad idea of how the invasion of Russia went almost flawlessly. Very soon.
Russia wipes the blood of his mouth when he realizes he is being watched.
“So this is a day when you tell me how weak I am instead of shooting on sight?”
Leningrad still stands, Moscow still stands and Russia's boss endures. Germany knows he can hold Russia as little as Russia can hold him. The only thing they can do now is to try to break each other's spirits and weaken each others armies. The Russians are stubborn if nothing else.
Germany once more tries to tell him how pointless this is.
“I endured worse than this,” Russia says. “A lot worse.”
But his eyes say something else.
The battle drags on. Germany's tanks and strategies don't work as well inside a city like this. They have to fight their way through every single house, Russians might be hidden anywhere, their beloved snipers make everyone nervous. You might suddenly drop dead, killed by an enemy no one can see.
Germany has been shot so many times that he lost count. He hunts Russia more carefully now after he began to realize how he had thrown his soldiers lives away in his conviction that Russia would crumble as easily as his people. The people who have stopped crumbling and fight dirty in the ruins of the city, lives are still thrown away but the survivors are getting good at what they do.
Russia might be afraid but Germany's people are beginning to be too.
It fills Germany with satisfaction when he for once is the one aiming for an unaware Russia. Russia drinks deeply from a bottle probably containing vodka. That says everything about the Russians, not strange that they aren't a match for Germany when they drink even in the mist of battle.
Then Germany sees it. Russia casts two shadows. Germany rubs his eyes, yet he still thinks he can see something human shaped next to Russia, an old man watching over the nation.
Things like that don't exist, no matter what legends that surround Russia. General Winter is a myth for incompetent generals to blame technical mistakes on.
Germany takes his shot but the shadows distract him. He only hits Russia's shoulder. The large nation goes down and out of sight but Germany knows it won't be for long, he will be back soon.
The shadow of winter worries Germany and he tries to ask his boss to speed things up.
The small voice deep inside that says perhaps you shouldn't do this at all tries to fight it's way to the surface again. Even if Russia is crazy and evil and no one likes him they are going too far. Germany forces his doubts down, his boss told him this was important, vital to their future. Everyone else do their part, he must do his.
Aren't you coming home soon? Italy writes. I have no one to play football with and I already bought you a Christmas present but then I ate it. Sorry. Things are scary here without you, please come home because I'm lonely.
He has also thrown in exclamation signs everywhere and scribbles that include hearts but that's how Italy is. Germany misses him, it's like having a family that doesn't constantly yell at you to shape up. Of course he loves his brother, he only sometimes wishes his brother would show affection in other ways. On the other hand, Prussia's guys know what to do while Italy's are barley equipped. If his other allies were as effective as Prussia instead of affectionate perhaps he wouldn't still be here in this depressing place that is starting to get cold as well.
Then it gets really cold. From a safe distance Russia mockingly asks how Germany likes this nice mild winter breeze.
Germany loses control for a moment, screaming obscenities at the giggling Russia and shoots his entire magazine at the enemy he can't see. He is freezing, he gave away his warm coat to one of his soldiers because he knows that a nation like himself isn't going to get frostbite. At worst he is going to get uncomfortable and they will soon have better winter clothing anyway. He used to believe this with utter certainty.
“I'm defending my home,” Russia then says, unusually serious. “Are you really willing to follow as far as I'm ready to go for merely conquest? Run now, while you still can.”
Russia wasn't lying. Compared to what comes next the previous cold was like a pleasant autumn.
Russia and his army encircle them. But it doesn't matter, the Luftwaffe can provide them with supplies and backup is on it's way, Germany hasn't heard that part officially confirmed yet but it has to be true.
When Russia passes by his smile has reached his eyes.
Germany knew they weren't going to circle and mock each other forever. He imagined he would have the upper hand in the upcoming confrontation. It shouldn't be like this.
Russia takes his bullets and knocks him down with pure physical force. With Russia on top of him he can't breathe. Russia's people easily take his prisoners while they are shocked over how easily their leader was beaten down. At least they are actually taken prisoner and not executed in front of him, they both done things like that earlier and now Germany begins to regret it. It's too easy to be overcome with fury in the cold and hopelessness and end up doing things you never thought you would even consider and afterward think you just dreamed doing.
Russia stands up and looks at him with an innocent expression. Hopefully this is just a dream as well. Russia puts a foot on his knee, applying a little pressure. Then he stomps down. Germany cries out in pain and now he knows for sure this isn't a dream, dreams don't hurt like this.
“Scream more, dear Germany. I waited so long to hear this. One more scream, for me?”
Russia crushes his other knee and Germany screams again, he can't help himself.
“Such a shame I can't drag you back home yet... But we can still have fun, can't we? I will see you fall Germany, soon there won't be enough of your people to protect you from me. Soon there won't be any of your people left at all. Everything your people did to mine we're going to pay back. We will remember this and we will remember Leningrad.”
Russia has stopped telling him to go home. It's the last thing coherent thought Germany manages to form.
His soldiers finds him nailed to the floor with knives through his hands. The smell in the room reveals that at least one of them threw up. Germany lies down and doesn't try to move for a long time. He tells his soldiers to not touch him, to wait a little while and talk to him, distract him from the pain while he heals.
One young man tells him about his family back home and it hurts in an entirely different way. It reminds him that his soldiers are more than the statistics and resources he tries to think of them as to be able to go on. For the first time Germany seriously wonders if they really should be here.
The supplies do not arrive as promised. The winter has come and it is the Russians who have the reinforcements. Everything is falling apart. Now it's Russia who watches Germany with an amused smile, not attacking even though he could. And Germany doesn't have ammunition to waste for someone who isn't going to stay dead.
Germany wonders if Italy bought him another Christmas present, if he is ever going to find out if he did. He wishes he had treated Italy's soldiers better, that could have been his present to Italy.
Because they have almost no food left Germany eats nothing, he can't freeze to death and he can't starve to death. Right now this does not feel like a blessing.
He wishes Italy had sent him that gift instead of eating it and dreams about what it could have been. He misses Italy so much and if it was only Italy here instead of Russia pressing him against the wall and breathing ice into his face.
“Perhaps it is my turn to tell you to surrender while you still have something to offer us,” Russia says. “My commanders think I should tell you that. But I don't want anything from you so I won't.”
Around Russia it's even colder, winter and death follow him like old friends.
“Does General Winter really exist?” Germany asks. He can't be sure if he is going insane or if it really is Russia's unofficial patron saint who claws at him, holds him in place for Russia to play with.
Russia laughs at him.
“He attacks us as brutally but we have learned to be strong. If he beats you, you have no one to blame but yourselves.”
Russia twists his hair and kisses him, Germany tries to melt into the wall and disappear but no such luck. Only Russia has supernatural forces at his disposal. He is so cold that Germany feels numb, paralyzed by Russia's shadows. How could it have came to this, all planning unraveled by factors they should have seen coming from afar?
“You're not even fighting back anymore,” Russia complains. “Why is your army so useless now? It isn't as fun when you are the ones starving, is it? We endure in Leningrad but you fall apart so easily. Soon, very soon, I'll take you home with me. Don't you look forward to that?”
He slaps Germany's face a couple of times but General Winter's pawing hurts worse. Russia eventually lets go and tells him to be more amusing next time.
“You have to leave,” Germany's general says. “Imagine the consequences if Russia managed to capture you.”
Germany can't leave his people behind like this, can he? But on the other hand, what would be the point of a senseless sacrifice? He can't turn the tide now and eventually Russia will stop playing around. He isn't quite sure anymore that Russia wouldn't be able to hold him. Especially now when he fears he is going insane. In daylight, among his own people, it's easy to convince himself that Russia's General only was an hallucination caused by cold and hunger.
“Retreat while you can,” his commanders insist. “We will hold out for a little longer.”
Germany looks over his army, his once so impressive force that cut through Russia with little resistance. Everyone comes to Russia to fail. Perhaps, perhaps he can return home, regroup and send more forces. Perhaps he can make peace with England and concentrate on Russia, Russia and his communists no one ever liked anyway. Perhaps Russia can't do all the things he taunted them with.
But what if he can?
Germany leaves everything behind and the shame burns so badly that it feels like a physical wound. Behind him he can hear Russia laugh hysterically.
"Hope you like this sight!" Russia screams. “This is how your home will look like when I'm done with you! Go ahead and run. It doesn't matter. I already know the road to Berlin!”
Germany keeps running without looking back.