4.3 [3/3]
4.3 [3/3]
Author: catchmyambition
Rating: PG13 for language
Genre: Angst/Romance
Pairing: Kangin/Hyukjae
Dedicated to freedomthisway
Sungmin and I walked from the sleeping quarters to the cafeteria. On the way, we passed a group of prisoners. They were kept in cages, like they were dogs. They were all dressed in varying degrees of rags. Some were so skinny they barely seemed human. I recognized a few of them from my village. My cheeks felt like they were on fire as a passed them, feeling their eyes on me. They thought I betrayed them. I wanted to tell them so bad, to scream “This isn't me! I have to do this or I'll never see Hyukjae again.” I didn't know how true that was.
We were almost past them when I saw him. I almost missed him, had he not looked me straight in the eye as he was being beaten by a guard. “H-Hyukjae?” I whispered. I felt my heart stop. It couldn't be him, it just couldn't be. This man was so different from the way I remembered him. His skin was pulled so tightly over his bones it looked like paper. His beautiful hair was dirty and matted. But his eyes. His eyes told me it was him. They were still the same beautiful dark eyes that I looked into when we made love. The same beautiful eyes I looked into now.
“Youngwoon? Youngwoon? Hey, aren't you hungry? Come on.”
I vaguely felt Sungmin pull me away, my mind still reeling.
“Sungmin?”
“Yeah?” he replied as he filled his plate high with scrambled eggs.
“Those prisoners we passed, why are they being beaten? It seemed like they were just being chosen randomly.”
“That's 'cause they are,” he said through a mouthful of rice. “They're Group C. They're pretty high security level. They're proved communists. It's a good thing we caught them before they made more a mess, isn't it?”
“H-how are they proved communists?” I ask, ignoring the question.
“I dunno exactly. I think they put the ones stupid enough to have writings and stuff in their house. Not too smart, huh?”
I felt my stomach twist inside out. A few months ago, Hyukjae had given me a journal. “So you won't go raving in the streets,” he had said with a smile. What I had written was more than enough to land him in prison.
A few minutes later, Lieutenant Kim walked into the cafeteria and the room was instantly silenced.
“You have an opportunity to prove yourselves today. You've all been a bunch of pussies thus far. Today, that ends. Report immediately to my office. There you will be issued a rifle. You are then to report to the ditch directly behind the east wall.”
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
Behind the east wall, we waited, not knowing what we would be ordered to do. Not knowing all innocence would be lost, that our lives would be changed forever.
We heard, long before we saw, a seemingly endless group of prisoners turning the corner towards us, long chains that bound their hands and feet clanging. We watched as they slowly moved to stand by the side of the ditch. The guards chose about a dozen or so to stand in a single file line facing us. Lieutenant Kim came from around the corner and a hush immediately descended upon soldiers and prisoners alike.
“Shoot them,” he said simply as he picked up a rifle and shot the first man. I watched as his body fell into the ditch behind him. He was Hyukjae's and my neighbor a few years ago. A few lifetimes ago.
Lieutenant Kim turned around, eyebrow raised. “Who wants to go first?” Silence.
“Oh for God's sakes, what did I tell you about being such pussies?” He paused, looking around at us. “Yah, you, Kim Youngwoon. Stand here. Lee Sungmin, here.”
He continued lining soldiers up until there were ten of us. “Now shoot them.”
I glanced to my right at Sungmin, who looked pale as a ghost.
“On the count of three, all right?” I whispered softly. I saw him nod once out the corner of my eye. “One, two,” I took a deep breath. “Three.”
To our horror, more prisoners were placed in front of us as soon as we shot them down. I don't remember what any of them looked like. I never looked any of them in the face until the last one.
No! No, no, no, no! Please not him, anyone but him! I blinked, desperately hoping I had imagined it was him. I hadn't.
His face was dirty and his clothes torn. Every visible piece of skin was covered in cuts and bruises. He looked into my eyes and smiled, gums and all. He was the most beautiful thing I would ever see in my life.
I raised my rifle.
“Uilym evat sa,” he shouted. I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger, too much of a coward to watch him fall.
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
I don't remember putting down my rifle or fleeing into the woods, not caring who saw me. I ran and ran, not knowing or caring where I was going. It didn't matter if I was followed or shot. What good could come from me living? I had already killed my soul.
“Youngwoon!” I heard a shout behind me. “Youngwoon! Wait, I can't run as fast as you! Youngwoon!”
I turned around and saw Sungmin running towards me. “Minnie? What are you doing here? They could have followed you, they'll kill you!”
“It doesn't matter. I had to give you this.”
I took the folded paper from his hands. “What is it?”
“One of the prisoners told me to give it to you before...” he trailed off. “He, uh, knew your name and everything.”
My fingers shook as I opened the paper.
“Youngwoon? Youngwoon! Listen to me. You have to exactly as I say if you want to get out of here. You want to get out of here, right?”
I nodded my head.
“After I'm .. finished, I want you to take this and point it at me,” he said, handing me a revolver. “Okay?”
I heard shouting in the distance. “Sungmin, come on, we don't have time for this, they'll catch us. We've got to go!”
A small smile graced his lips. “They'll never catch me.”
I watched as he brought his revolver to his temple. He smiled broadly at me the same smile I knew so well when we were children. Then he pulled the trigger.
I stood, paralyzed. Why did he do that? We could have left, they were too far away to catch -
“Good work.” I turned around to find Lieutenant Kim behind me, looking at Sungmin like he was appraising someone's hunt. Good work? What was he talking about? I had just let someone kill himself.
Two other men emerged from the trees. “Ah, boys. Look what we have here. Our Private Kim here has successfully pursued and killed a deserter,” said Lieutenant Kim. He then turned to me. “You, take this body and dump it with the others.”
Sungmin... had sacrificed himself. For me? He must have known they were closer than I thought. If they had found us together, they would have killed us both.
A soft voice interrupted my thoughts. “You didn't kill him, did you?”
“What? Yes, I did, I swear! He-he was deserting and I -”
“Why did you shoot him in the side of the head then?” the other man asked.
“I-I...” I didn't know how to answer them.
“It's okay. We know you want to leave. Go.”
They were going to let me go? Why weren't they shooting me?
“Go,” the other repeated. “You don't belong here. Don't worry about your friend, we'll bury him. Go.”
“Um, thank you...” I realized I didn't even know their names.
“Siwon,” said the taller man. “Hankyung,” said the other.
“Youngwoon,” I replied.
Then I ran.
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
Present Day
In a school playground under the hot Jeju sun, a scrawny boy of about six played in a sandbox. He was surrounded by other children, yet felt completely alone. He had just moved there and his most of his classmates had moved on from the “gawking at the new kid” stage.
He put the final touches on his sand castle as a foot came whizzing mere centimeters from his face, effectively destroying his work.
“HEY! What are you -” Hyukjae’s words were silenced as he looks into the eyes of the school bully.
“I’m doing what I want, that’s what. What do you think you’re gonna do about it?” the older boy threatened.
“HE’S GONNA DO THIS!” a blur shouted as it dove across the playground, pushing the bully into a mud puddle.
“AHHH! You idiot, look what you did to my hair! My clothes! SIWONNIE, HANKYUNGIE, LOOK WHAT HE DID TO ME!” the bully screamed as he ran to two figures at the front of the playground.
Feeling satisfied, the older boy began walking away when a small voice rang out. “W-why did you do that?”
“He was being mean to you,” the elder answered nonchalantly as he offered his hand, as if pushing people into mud puddles was a perfectly acceptable response to bullying.
“Tell you what, do you wanna be my friend? I won’t let anyone push you around, I promise. What do you say, friends?”
The smaller bit his lip, wondering if the other boy really meant it. Concluding the blinding smile and disappearing eyes were sincere, the younger boy took the older’s hand.
“Friends,” the smaller boy answered with a gummy grin.
“Awesome! My name’s Kangin, what’s yours?”
“I’m Eunhyuk.”
To read more about the Jeju Uprising, click here.
Oh Mitha, I hope you don't think this is a bunch of fail!
I apologize for killing... everyone. I'm considering writing a short Heemin prequel to this.. thoughts? I didn't really touch on it, but I definitely had a history planned for them. Though I did lay a few easter eggs that I'm sure are only evident to me XD
Please review!
Part One
Part Two
Author: catchmyambition
Rating: PG13 for language
Genre: Angst/Romance
Pairing: Kangin/Hyukjae
Dedicated to freedomthisway
Sungmin and I walked from the sleeping quarters to the cafeteria. On the way, we passed a group of prisoners. They were kept in cages, like they were dogs. They were all dressed in varying degrees of rags. Some were so skinny they barely seemed human. I recognized a few of them from my village. My cheeks felt like they were on fire as a passed them, feeling their eyes on me. They thought I betrayed them. I wanted to tell them so bad, to scream “This isn't me! I have to do this or I'll never see Hyukjae again.” I didn't know how true that was.
We were almost past them when I saw him. I almost missed him, had he not looked me straight in the eye as he was being beaten by a guard. “H-Hyukjae?” I whispered. I felt my heart stop. It couldn't be him, it just couldn't be. This man was so different from the way I remembered him. His skin was pulled so tightly over his bones it looked like paper. His beautiful hair was dirty and matted. But his eyes. His eyes told me it was him. They were still the same beautiful dark eyes that I looked into when we made love. The same beautiful eyes I looked into now.
“Youngwoon? Youngwoon? Hey, aren't you hungry? Come on.”
I vaguely felt Sungmin pull me away, my mind still reeling.
“Sungmin?”
“Yeah?” he replied as he filled his plate high with scrambled eggs.
“Those prisoners we passed, why are they being beaten? It seemed like they were just being chosen randomly.”
“That's 'cause they are,” he said through a mouthful of rice. “They're Group C. They're pretty high security level. They're proved communists. It's a good thing we caught them before they made more a mess, isn't it?”
“H-how are they proved communists?” I ask, ignoring the question.
“I dunno exactly. I think they put the ones stupid enough to have writings and stuff in their house. Not too smart, huh?”
I felt my stomach twist inside out. A few months ago, Hyukjae had given me a journal. “So you won't go raving in the streets,” he had said with a smile. What I had written was more than enough to land him in prison.
A few minutes later, Lieutenant Kim walked into the cafeteria and the room was instantly silenced.
“You have an opportunity to prove yourselves today. You've all been a bunch of pussies thus far. Today, that ends. Report immediately to my office. There you will be issued a rifle. You are then to report to the ditch directly behind the east wall.”
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
Behind the east wall, we waited, not knowing what we would be ordered to do. Not knowing all innocence would be lost, that our lives would be changed forever.
We heard, long before we saw, a seemingly endless group of prisoners turning the corner towards us, long chains that bound their hands and feet clanging. We watched as they slowly moved to stand by the side of the ditch. The guards chose about a dozen or so to stand in a single file line facing us. Lieutenant Kim came from around the corner and a hush immediately descended upon soldiers and prisoners alike.
“Shoot them,” he said simply as he picked up a rifle and shot the first man. I watched as his body fell into the ditch behind him. He was Hyukjae's and my neighbor a few years ago. A few lifetimes ago.
Lieutenant Kim turned around, eyebrow raised. “Who wants to go first?” Silence.
“Oh for God's sakes, what did I tell you about being such pussies?” He paused, looking around at us. “Yah, you, Kim Youngwoon. Stand here. Lee Sungmin, here.”
He continued lining soldiers up until there were ten of us. “Now shoot them.”
I glanced to my right at Sungmin, who looked pale as a ghost.
“On the count of three, all right?” I whispered softly. I saw him nod once out the corner of my eye. “One, two,” I took a deep breath. “Three.”
To our horror, more prisoners were placed in front of us as soon as we shot them down. I don't remember what any of them looked like. I never looked any of them in the face until the last one.
No! No, no, no, no! Please not him, anyone but him! I blinked, desperately hoping I had imagined it was him. I hadn't.
His face was dirty and his clothes torn. Every visible piece of skin was covered in cuts and bruises. He looked into my eyes and smiled, gums and all. He was the most beautiful thing I would ever see in my life.
I raised my rifle.
“Uilym evat sa,” he shouted. I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger, too much of a coward to watch him fall.
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
I don't remember putting down my rifle or fleeing into the woods, not caring who saw me. I ran and ran, not knowing or caring where I was going. It didn't matter if I was followed or shot. What good could come from me living? I had already killed my soul.
“Youngwoon!” I heard a shout behind me. “Youngwoon! Wait, I can't run as fast as you! Youngwoon!”
I turned around and saw Sungmin running towards me. “Minnie? What are you doing here? They could have followed you, they'll kill you!”
“It doesn't matter. I had to give you this.”
I took the folded paper from his hands. “What is it?”
“One of the prisoners told me to give it to you before...” he trailed off. “He, uh, knew your name and everything.”
My fingers shook as I opened the paper.
“Youngwoon? Youngwoon! Listen to me. You have to exactly as I say if you want to get out of here. You want to get out of here, right?”
I nodded my head.
“After I'm .. finished, I want you to take this and point it at me,” he said, handing me a revolver. “Okay?”
I heard shouting in the distance. “Sungmin, come on, we don't have time for this, they'll catch us. We've got to go!”
A small smile graced his lips. “They'll never catch me.”
I watched as he brought his revolver to his temple. He smiled broadly at me the same smile I knew so well when we were children. Then he pulled the trigger.
I stood, paralyzed. Why did he do that? We could have left, they were too far away to catch -
“Good work.” I turned around to find Lieutenant Kim behind me, looking at Sungmin like he was appraising someone's hunt. Good work? What was he talking about? I had just let someone kill himself.
Two other men emerged from the trees. “Ah, boys. Look what we have here. Our Private Kim here has successfully pursued and killed a deserter,” said Lieutenant Kim. He then turned to me. “You, take this body and dump it with the others.”
Sungmin... had sacrificed himself. For me? He must have known they were closer than I thought. If they had found us together, they would have killed us both.
A soft voice interrupted my thoughts. “You didn't kill him, did you?”
“What? Yes, I did, I swear! He-he was deserting and I -”
“Why did you shoot him in the side of the head then?” the other man asked.
“I-I...” I didn't know how to answer them.
“It's okay. We know you want to leave. Go.”
They were going to let me go? Why weren't they shooting me?
“Go,” the other repeated. “You don't belong here. Don't worry about your friend, we'll bury him. Go.”
“Um, thank you...” I realized I didn't even know their names.
“Siwon,” said the taller man. “Hankyung,” said the other.
“Youngwoon,” I replied.
Then I ran.
♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦
Present Day
In a school playground under the hot Jeju sun, a scrawny boy of about six played in a sandbox. He was surrounded by other children, yet felt completely alone. He had just moved there and his most of his classmates had moved on from the “gawking at the new kid” stage.
He put the final touches on his sand castle as a foot came whizzing mere centimeters from his face, effectively destroying his work.
“HEY! What are you -” Hyukjae’s words were silenced as he looks into the eyes of the school bully.
“I’m doing what I want, that’s what. What do you think you’re gonna do about it?” the older boy threatened.
“HE’S GONNA DO THIS!” a blur shouted as it dove across the playground, pushing the bully into a mud puddle.
“AHHH! You idiot, look what you did to my hair! My clothes! SIWONNIE, HANKYUNGIE, LOOK WHAT HE DID TO ME!” the bully screamed as he ran to two figures at the front of the playground.
Feeling satisfied, the older boy began walking away when a small voice rang out. “W-why did you do that?”
“He was being mean to you,” the elder answered nonchalantly as he offered his hand, as if pushing people into mud puddles was a perfectly acceptable response to bullying.
“Tell you what, do you wanna be my friend? I won’t let anyone push you around, I promise. What do you say, friends?”
The smaller bit his lip, wondering if the other boy really meant it. Concluding the blinding smile and disappearing eyes were sincere, the younger boy took the older’s hand.
“Friends,” the smaller boy answered with a gummy grin.
“Awesome! My name’s Kangin, what’s yours?”
“I’m Eunhyuk.”
To read more about the Jeju Uprising, click here.
Oh Mitha, I hope you don't think this is a bunch of fail!
I apologize for killing... everyone. I'm considering writing a short Heemin prequel to this.. thoughts? I didn't really touch on it, but I definitely had a history planned for them. Though I did lay a few easter eggs that I'm sure are only evident to me XD
Please review!
Part One
Part Two