Fic: Fractured Hearts

[writefiction]

Title/Chapter: Fractured Hearts (05/?)
Author: Amanda / writefiction
Pairing: Taylor Hanson / OFC (Libby Hanson)
Rating: NC-17
Notes: written for the Don’t Judge a Book… challenge
Other Notes: AU, no Natalie or kids had with her
Warning: graphic sexual situations
Word Count: 2,914
Master Post
Summary: Libby and Taylor Hanson have only a year left with their two year old daughter, Lily, who was diagnosed with a fatal cancer. When she finally succumbs to her illness the couple is heartbroken and their marriage begins to fall apart at the seams. Will they be able to fix their fractured hearts, or will they be destined for divorce?


CHAPTER FIVE

Libby and Taylor had continued their therapy sessions even though Libby hadn’t gotten passed giving one word answers. But at least she was now saying ‘yes’ and ‘no’ instead of just shaking her head. Taylor saw it as a slight improvement. He never knew that their fifth appointment would be the time that Libby spoke.

“I think it might help if we got back to church,” Taylor said in session that day.

Libby’s head snapped up and she glared. “What? No! No way!” she exclaimed.

Taylor’s eyes widened in surprise at his wife’s sudden outburst. “Why not?” he asked puzzled.

Libby shook her head sadly and looked down at her hands. “I can’t do it, Tay,” she murmured.

“You can’t go to church?”

“No,” Libby answered quietly.

“Again, why not?”

Libby glared at Taylor. “Because I’m pissed at God!” Taylor’s eyes bugged out again and he looked over at their therapist.

“Why are you angry at God?” Heidi asked.

“Because…” Libby sniffed as the tears filled her eyes. “He stole my baby from me.”

Taylor felt his heart break. He hadn’t known his wife felt that way. He moved closer to Libby on the couch and wrapped an arm around her. She tried to pull away, but Taylor wasn’t having it; he just held her tighter and after a moment she sighed and slumped against him. “I’m sorry,” she murmured. “But I can’t go back to church when all I want to do is spit on God. I feel… I feel like He’s the enemy right now. I feel like He turned His back on me when I needed Him the most.”

“What makes you feel that way?” Heidi asked.

Libby looked up at their therapist for the first time since coming in the office that day. “He didn’t answer my prayers,” she murmured. “I prayed and prayed and prayed that He’d find a way to save my child. That He could give us a miracle, you know? He never came through for me. She still died.” The tears began to pour down Libby’s cheeks and she hid her face in Taylor’s neck.

“Libby…” Taylor sighed not knowing how to respond. He looked helplessly at his therapist.

“Do you believe in Heaven?” Heidi asked. Libby could only nod. “Then you know that God is taking care of your little girl, right?” Libby nodded again. “Could it be possible that God had this happen to you for a reason?”

Libby lifted her head with a sniffle and looked curiously at Heidi. “What reason could He have to give me such pain?” she asked.

Heidi smiled softly. “You know that old saying, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger?” Libby bobbed her head yes. “Maybe He was trying to make you stronger.”

“If that’s His reason, it’s a really shitty one,” Libby replied.

Heidi chuckled lightly. “Yeah, I have to admit that I agree with you there. But… maybe now you have a special guardian angel looking out for you.”

Libby wiped at her face. “Do you think so?”

“I think it’s a possibility,” Heidi answered.

Libby looked at Taylor. “And you?”

Taylor smiled. “I never thought of it like that before, but now that it’s been pointed out to me I have no reason to believe it’s not.”

“I… I kinda like that,” Libby murmured.

“Me too,” Taylor told her.

There was a moment of silence then Heidi spoke up. “I hate to do this, but our time’s up for today. But before you go, I need to ask, Libby, how do you feel?”

Libby looked at Heidi again. “I um… kind of… kind of better. Not good really, but better.”

Heidi smiled. “You don’t need to feel good yet. But better is progress and I’m proud of you for opening up today. I know it’s something you’re struggling with and you should be proud of yourself too.”

“I’m proud of you,” Taylor jumped in.

Libby smiled bashfully. “Thanks.” She turned back to Heidi. “I um, I just want you to know that I think you’re a really good therapist and a good match for us. I wouldn’t have kept coming if I didn’t feel that way.”

“I was hoping that’s how you felt,” Heidi told her. “But I wasn’t going to assume anything until you told me.” Libby only nodded as Taylor tugged her to her feet.

“We’ll see you next week, same time?” he asked.

Heidi nodded. “Of course. I think today was a really great session. And, Libby?” Libby looked up from her sneakers. “It’s okay to be mad at God. He understands.”

“Thank you,” Libby whispered. Then she took Taylor by the hand and led the way out of the office.

# # #

When the couple got home, Libby actually smiled at Taylor for the first time in a very long time. He couldn’t help but smile back as she placed her hands on his hips. “What’s that look for?” he asked.

Libby shrugged. “I dunno. I just feel… better; almost… happy.”

“Really?” Taylor asked in surprise.

“Mm-hmm.” Libby nodded.

“I’m glad to hear that, baby,” Taylor told her gently as he tucked a stray piece of her dark hair behind her ear.

Libby pulled her husband close and hugged him tightly. “I finally feel like maybe going to see Heidi is actually going to work,” she admitted.

Taylor dropped a kiss to the top of Libby’s head. “That’s so great. And, you know, I am really proud of the way you opened up today. I had no idea you were so angry at God.”

Libby bobbed her head then drew back enough to look up at Taylor. “Were you ever mad at Him?”

Taylor thought about it for a moment. “I’m not sure,” he answered. “I mean, I’ve been really angry over losing Lily, but I guess I never really thought of who held the blame. But I can definitely see why you’d blame God for taking her from us.”

Libby bit her lip a moment. “Do you really think it’s okay to be angry at Him like Heidi said?”

Taylor nodded. “Yeah, I do. Heidi also said it’s okay because He understands. I think that a lot of people get mad at Him and blame Him for losing their loved ones so I completely agree with Heidi; He does understand and He doesn’t blame anyone for it.”

Libby bobbed her head thoughtfully. “Yeah, I can see that.” Then she looked up at Taylor. “I love you,” she murmured and before Taylor could say anything, Libby leaned up on her toes and pressed her lips lightly to his.

Taylor’s eyes widened in surprise. They hadn’t kissed in so long and it felt so nice to have her lips against his again. He closed his eyes and pulled Libby closer, his arms tightened around her as he deepened the kiss. When he slid his tongue over the seam of her lips, Libby immediately opened up, letting her tongue tangle with Taylor’s. Her hands moved up his body and wrapped in his shaggy hair, holding him against her mouth.

When they broke apart for air, there was something shining in Libby’s eyes that Taylor hadn’t seen since before their baby had gotten sick. It had been so long he wasn’t even sure if what he was seeing was true, or just in his head. But it looked to him like lust. “Libby?” he asked quietly, the question obvious in his clear blue eyes. Libby brushed her lips against his before taking him by the hand and leading them upstairs to their room.

Once there, Libby gently pushed Taylor down onto their bed and straddled his lap, her arms wrapped around his neck. “Libby,” Taylor whispered again. “Are you… are you sure? We don’t have to. I mean, if you’re not ready?”

Libby pressed a finger to Taylor’s lips and shushed him. “Shh.” She smiled softly at him. “I’ll be honest; I’m not sure if I’m ready to go all the way. But I want to see where things go. I want to make-out like we used to and if it goes further than that…” She shrugged. “Then it does.”

“Okay,” Taylor murmured. “But can I be honest with you?” Libby nodded her consent. “I’m nervous.”

“Me too,” Libby admitted. “I feel like this is our first time all over again.”

Taylor bobbed his head in agreement. “Yeah…”

“We’ll take it slow.”

“Okay.”

Then Libby leaned in to cover Taylor’s mouth with hers. Taylor moaned into the kiss as his eyes closed and Libby’s tongue invaded his mouth. “I love you,” she whispered against his lips.

“Mm, love you, too,” Taylor replied as he nipped at her lower lip. Libby whimpered and shimmied up Taylor’s lap a few inches.

Sitting on the edge of the bed wasn’t working for Taylor so he maneuvered them towards the head of the bed and leaned back against it. Libby pressed against Taylor’s chest, her fingers curled in his hair. “Libby,” Taylor murmured, his hands squeezing her hips.

“What?” she whispered.

“S’been too long,” Taylor told her.

“I know,” Libby replied softly, her mouth hovering over her husband’s. “And I’m sorry.”

Taylor opened his eyes to look into Libby’s. Her chocolate eyes were wet with tears. “Baby, what’s wrong?” he asked as he squeezed her hips gently.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so horrible,” Libby told him.

Taylor reached up and gently wiped Libby’s tears away with the pads of his thumbs. “We’ve had a rough time; both of us,” Taylor responded. “And we’re going to get through this. I promise you.”

“What if we don’t?” Libby whispered. “I’m scared that we won’t.”

Taylor pulled her against his chest and clutched her there. “I promise you, if it’s the last thing I do, we’ll get through this. It’s going to be hard and it’ll suck at times, but we’ll make it. I promise.” There was a beat of silence. “Have I ever broken a promise to you?”

Libby shook her head. “No.”

“Then trust me when I say we’ll get through this.”

“Okay.” Libby nodded. “Yeah, okay, I trust you.”

“I love you, Lib, always and forever.”

“I love you, too. Always and forever.”

Taylor pulled back with a smile and wiped the remaining tears from his wife’s face. “You okay now?” he asked. Libby nodded and Taylor leaned in to place a kiss against her forehead. “Good.”

Libby leaned into Taylor’s chest and wrapped her arms around his neck again. She brushed her lips against his and whispered, “We don’t have to stop… do we?”

Taylor chuckled lightly. “Not if you don’t want to.”

“I didn’t ruin the mood?” Libby asked as she began to suck and nip at Taylor’s neck.

“Mm, you’re making up for it,” Taylor told her as he leaned his head to the side to give her better access. He moaned quietly when his wife sucked hard on the pulse point in his neck, his hips bucking up of their own accord.

Taylor wound his fingers in Libby’s hair and guided her back to his mouth, his tongue delving between her lips making her moan, the sound going straight to his cock. He groaned as his head dropped back against the padded headboard and Libby ground her hips against his. “Oh god, Libby,” he gasped, his hips bucking against hers.

Libby pushed her hands up under Taylor’s shirt until he lifted his arms and let her peel it off. Then Taylor immediately reached for the hem of her shirt and whipped it off over her head. She laughed, the smile back on her face where Taylor liked it. He grinned back and slowly worked the straps of her bra down her arms as he kissed a following path. He reached behind her and unhooked the bra before tossing it aside and latching his mouth onto a nipple. Libby whimpered and threaded her fingers through Taylor’s blond locks, her head thrown back in ecstasy as he sucked and nibbled at her nipple until it was a hard little nub.

When Taylor was satisfied with his work, he moved to the other nipple and paid it the same attention as the first. “Tay!” Libby gasped at a particularly hard nip to the sensitive flesh. Taylor soothed the hard nub with his tongue before kissing a trail back up to Libby’s mouth.

“Love you,” he murmured before shoving his tongue passed her lips. Libby moaned and kissed him back hungrily, hips rocking.

As they broke apart for air, Libby popped the button on her jeans and slid the zipper down. She grabbed for Taylor’s hand and shoved it down her panties, whimpering, and said in a husky tone, “So wet for you, Tay.”

“Mm, I see that,” Taylor replied, his voice an octave lower than normal as his fingers dipped between her folds. He dragged a finger over her clit, loved the way it made her tremble and moan. “You like that?” he asked. Libby nodded, biting at her lower lip, cheeks flushed. “I have something so much better than that for you.” Libby moaned and reached for the button on her husband’s jeans. With deft fingers she slid it from the hole and quickly slid the zip down. Then she sat up on her knees and helped Taylor wiggle out of his too-tight jeans.

Libby tossed the denim over the side of the bed before hooking her fingers into the waist band of Taylor’s boxer-briefs. But Taylor grabbed her wrists and stopped her. She looked at him, eyebrow raised in question. “You’ve got too many clothes on still,” he answered.

Libby slid from the mattress and slowly stripped the last two articles of clothing from her body, her eyes never leaving Taylor’s. When she was done she sent him a smirk and murmured, “Your turn.” Silently, Taylor climbed off the bed and hooked his thumbs in the band of his boxer-briefs. He slowly slid them down his thighs; his hard cock springing free then kicked the navy cotton to the side. He wrapped his long fingers around his length, gave it a few good tugs before Libby was there, kissing, sucking, and licking at his mouth, her fingers curled tightly in his hair.

Taylor wrapped his arms around Libby’s waist and rubbed his leaking cock against her belly, smearing pre-come against her soft skin. Libby whimpered against his mouth. “Tay, please. I need you.”

“Mm, need you, too,” Taylor replied. “Been too long.” Then he laid his wife on the queen-sized bed and climbed on top of her, his hips fitting perfectly between her thighs.

Libby stroked his face lovingly as she stared up at him, mesmerized by the look of honest love and lust in her husband’s eyes. “Tay,” she whispered softly. “I love you.”

Taylor smiled softly, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he murmured, “I love you, too, baby. Always have.” Then he slowly sank his erection deep inside of her dripping pussy.

The couple moaned in unison at the feeling of being connected after all these months. It had been so long since they’d made love it was like they were doing it for the first time all over again and it was amazing.

Taylor leaned his forehead against his wife’s as he thrust into her over and over. “God, Libby, you’re so tight,” he moaned as his hips began to pick up speed and force. Libby whimpered in response and licked at Taylor’s mouth, needing to taste him.

“Harder,” she whispered. “Oh please harder.” Taylor obliged, plunging in harder and deeper, using all the pent up emotions from the last few months to fuel his passion. “Oh, oh, Tay,” Libby moaned, her back arching in pleasure.

“Mm, you like that?” Taylor asked. Libby whimpered in response, nodding her head as she bit at her lower lip. Taylor leaned in, plunging his tongue into her mouth as he kissed her hungrily, his hips beginning to pick up speed. It had been so long since either had gotten off that they weren’t going to last much longer. Their hips moved in tandem, their hands traveled over sweat-slicked skin, and their lip fumbled for purchase against one another. Soon they both tensed, calling out each other’s names as they simultaneously climaxed and collapsed in a heap on the bed together, a mess of tangled limbs and sweaty bodies.

Taylor slowly dragged himself up onto one elbow and leaned over his wife to kiss her softly, both of them still panting. He brushed her damp hair out of her eyes and smiled lovingly at her. “I love you,” he murmured then suddenly noticed the tears in Libby’s eyes. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Libby shook her head. “Nothing,” she whispered. “Nothing at all.”

“Then why are you crying?”

“Because I’ve missed you,” Libby answered. “I’ve missed us. I’ve missed feeling happy and especially feeling happy about our relationship. I feel like we’ve been buried in black fog and it’s finally starting to lift. It’s a wonderful feeling.”

“So these are happy tears?” Taylor asked.

Libby nodded. “Yeah, they sure are.”

Taylor grinned and kissed his wife again. “Good. Those are the only tears I ever want to see you cry.” Libby giggled at Taylor’s cheesy statement and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him close. “I love you,” Taylor whispered again.

Libby smiled softly. “I love you, too, Taylor. So much.” Then they kissed again, their fingers twining together, neither wanting to let the other go.

# # #

TBC: chapter six