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I am debating whether to leave this journal. I am tired of saying the same things in the same ways. I want to start over. But mostly I am just tired, unhealthy, and glum.

Wow, what the fuck. It's not the girl I wanted to kiss at all. This is kind of fucked up. Not the girl I wanted to kiss at all. Fuck alcohol. Man.

My foot fell asleep.

See, it's like this: If I was a nice person and you were a nice person, we could be nice to each other all the time. Wouldn't that be nice? I'm sick of being mean, of wanting things only for myself, of wanting rotten things. Let me be nice to you, let me want nice things for you, and you can do the same for me. One day let's just be nice to each ( Read more... )

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There is a girl in my Human Evolution and Modern Poetry class who is pretty in a scary way. Classes are going okay so far. Nothing is strikingly new. Today I wondered if the only real function of sleep is to keep us from having to live with our mad selves every crazy, fitful second of our lives ( Read more... )

I haven't seen my own blood in so long. I've maybe seen hints of it-bruises, dry lips, late-night unsteady eyes-but I don't remember the last time I saw the rich, dreadful red from myself. Today I sat in the dark living room, daydreaming a story about a man who wants to throw a drinking glass against the wall. Today I bought a laptop I don't ( Read more... )

I was just browsing old files on my archive hardrive and came across a folder titled 'important'. It was empty.

New Years

A liter of beer and a liter of shiraz and two rum and cokes later I'm lying in Lynette's bed wide awake with my arm around her waist fingers touching her thighs while she sleeps beside me. Nothing will happen but in the morning I will feel good even though I don't have any excuse to.

The Day After New YearsI recover from my hangover ( Read more... )