Been seeing a lot of Ali recently. I like being friends with her. She supports her apartment and guitar lessons working at a deli and she wants to be a music teacher when she grows up. It's refreshing. These days it seems everybody wants to be something grand, like a writer or actor or sing/songwriter whatever, or it's some new obscure and ( Read more... )

For Joeseph's birthday we went to an artsy bar where I ordered a martini. Dirty dry vodka. I don't even like martinis. This is what happens when you go out with people you don't love, you order martinis ( Read more... )

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Halloween was good. Abby made jello shots in tupperware and she had to scoop it out with her fingers and sort of lather them into the shot glasses. I smoked an absurd number of cigarettes. The people were nice and they interested me, which is really, really rare. I know it's dick-ish to be bored always, but in general that's what happens. I'm dick- ( Read more... )

There are no seagulls left here. They have migrated to warmer climates, to nests built inside chimneys, to Central America, to clean white ships on the equator, where strong brown arms-sun and salt weathered arms-hold out fingers of alluring fresh sea turtle meat. It is a feast ( Read more... )

I still have to write that six page essay. The topic I chose was "Did the Roman Empire fall?" What a cop out. Yes and no, that's the answer. That's the answer to everything, obviously: do you love me, am I dying, is it worth being awake for. I have two pillows, one I lay my head on and one I tuck between my legs to keep my knees from bumping ( Read more... )

Shrrrrooms on Friday, everything came together and flowed, time was liquid like I was swimming in pale translucent yellow plasma. The streetlight shone through the windows, throwing orange shadows of the window sash and muntins on the wall, lined with the opaque vague shadows of green and light brown beer bottles, and windowsill plants. I tore a ( Read more... )

Joan danced close to me, breath on my neck, scent of wild hair, her closed eyelids fluttering, and to be honest I had never wanted to fuck someone as badly as in that moment, but then the feeling passed and I just felt drunk.

I decided to come home early from school. I couldn't shake the feeling that I was going to die at 11:47. On the train the feeling became one that I was going to wake up soon ( Read more... )

I had a dream with sleek white trains again. In the dream I was married to a green-eyed brunette with a gaze full of pity and we were having trouble raising our children. We were getting into terrible fights. I followed a bearded man in a tweed jacket onto the trains. He was my father. He had a strawberry beard that was going white at the roots, ( Read more... )