Comments | writing_samsara: [POTC fic series] - SAILING IN SAMSARA, C.1 - "Saraswati and the Swan"

writing_samsara

[POTC fic series] - SAILING IN SAMSARA, C.1 - "Saraswati and the Swan" - rated R

Jan 31, 2007 20:30

Title: “Saraswati and the Swan”

Series: Sailing in Samsara (1/1 - thus far)
Fandom: Pirates of the Caribbean
Spoilers: Post (my hypothetical) AWE
Pairing: Jack/Elizabeth, Saraswati (OC)
Rating: R
Word Count: 5,550

Summary: The first chapter of a longer work that will address Jack’s backstory and the role of family in his life. Jack and Lizzie set anchor ( Read more... )

potc, sailing in samsara, fic

Comments 33

erinya February 1 2007, 02:37:24 UTC

“So there he is, covered in soot, in Mrs. Rajasingham’s choli* - and Vijay standing there yelling, ‘Send it across, send it across!’ I swear, Lalit Varma didn’t touch a mango for weeks! Raj took a tight slap* for that one.”

That's a story I'd love to hear told in its entirety!

I was a bit tired last night, so I didn't say nearly all I wanted to say about this piece, which is a delight. (I love the title, too, btw.) There's such rich and layered detail of character, culture, relationship, and emotion here, so much going on under the surface. The descriptions and sense of place (especially in the flashback sections) are exquisite. But it's also just plain fun to read, with Jack leaving the ladies to it, Elizabeth using one of her favorite tricks on Sara, Gibbs being superstitious, Jack and the coconut, "just let me get my boots," the J/E banter.

I really like the opening now--the best elements of both versions are present, and I think it's nice and clear as well.

The sting of her words snapped across Sara’s face in brief shadows ( ... )

writing_samsara February 1 2007, 03:02:35 UTC

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! After the 50 rewrites, I didn't even know if it was in English anymore. :) So glad you like the final version of the opening as well. Lord knows, I played with it to the point of disgust. :) Thank you so, so, so much - as always - for working your beta magic.

"That's a story I'd love to hear told in its entirety!"
- You might just. There will be lots of Jack backstory, that's for sure. I've got this elephant of a storyline swimming in my head, and he's wanting out.

Let me just say again that i'm so glad you enjoyed it. That it was both funny and poetic and culturally and emotionally realistic makes me super happy. I am really wanting to do India, Jack, Lizzie, and all others their honor.

*mouwah!*

Great stuff!! compassrose7577 February 1 2007, 03:35:08 UTC

This is like getting an incredible hors d'oeuvre and realizing just how wonderful the whole meal is going to be!

Typical man, Jack used his Lizzie to soften an uncomfortabel situation. What man hasn't left his wife to deal with the difficult in-laws. I love the slow, unpeeling of each character, making you even more hungry for the layer.

The cultural insights are great. I know little of India, but I'm willing to learn. You've given us just enough bait to make us want to hear more...and more...and more. Let the elephant out, we can take it.

I'm glad I was of some vague kind of help. It's easy when you have been given great things to work with.

I'm humbled in your presence. I'm not worthy....

Re: Great stuff!! writing_samsara February 1 2007, 03:55:45 UTC

"This is like getting an incredible hors d'oeuvre and realizing just how wonderful the whole meal is going to be ( ... )

Thread 9

heatherlayne_n February 1 2007, 03:07:39 UTC

Very very lovely. Excellent writing, excellently-drawn characters. The details you add are perfect. I can't wait for the next installment.

writing_samsara February 1 2007, 03:46:19 UTC

Thank you very much! Plot elephant is dragging me to write number two presently, despite my protests that I need to do laundry. :)

heatherlayne_n February 1 2007, 03:55:45 UTC

Pfft, laundry is overrated. :P Write, write!

cmgacrux February 1 2007, 04:17:06 UTC

I'm very, VERY happy you're writing a fic about India because I love the country and am fascinated by it (have started studying Hindi as a result of my fascination). Anyway, I absolutely adore Sara, she's amazing. I'm also very impressed by your writing skills. You're an incredible writer.

Friending you, of course. Can't wait to read the next chapter.

P.S. I love you! I really do. :)

writing_samsara February 2 2007, 01:17:18 UTC

Awww, thank you so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying India in here. I'm finding it challenging to write about historical India because it's really modern India that I know, but it's a thrilling sort of challenge. Wonderful that you're learning Hindi. My Dad and Mom tried to teach me Tamil and Hungarian, respectively, but I never caught on. In college it came down to the choice between Arabic and Hindi (chose Arabic), and I still wish that I knew at least a little (but I can sing every bollywood/bhangra song out there). Good luck with your studying!

Thrilled that you like Sara, and it means the world to me that you've enjoyed my style.

Friending you right back! :)

geekmama February 1 2007, 05:01:23 UTC

So much to love here. Your characterizations are wonderful -- Jack and Elizabeth are just right, and I adore Gibbs, and Sara's a great OC. I'm so happy this is only the beginning of a long tale. The details of Indian culture are fascinating, and the interaction between the characters equally so. Lucky us, to have more of this story and your wonderful writing to look forward to. Many thanks!

writing_samsara February 2 2007, 01:20:09 UTC

On no, many thanks to you for your lovely comments! It really makes my day to know that my work brings enjoyment, that it works int he ways I hoped it would.

I'm the lucky one to be able to share with ya'll and get this briliant feedback. Thank you!

ladyofthesilent February 1 2007, 08:07:57 UTC

This was simply wonderful, I loved the atmosphere of it and all the cultural references to India. I was very impressed by your vast and detailed knowledge displayed in this fic. Jack's sister is an interesting OC, very well written and anything but a Mary Sue!

Jack and Lizzie are very in-character and I greatly enjoyed the way you portrayed them. Again, great work, can't wait to read more, soon!

writing_samsara February 2 2007, 01:24:43 UTC

" I was very impressed by your vast and detailed knowledge displayed in this fic."
- Thank you so much! I spent an inordinate amount of time researching little bits to try and keep things true to the times and the culture. I'm very happy that it worked for you, and that the sense of Indian was there both obvious and subtle. *squee*

So glad you enjoyed Jack and Lizzie, and am throughly relieved that Sara's not coming off Mary-Sue-like.

More is on the way. The elephant will not allow me to stop. He beats me with his trunk....;)