fic- "Time Heals" (NC-17, Complete, SGA, Ties that Bind) Part 8
Time Heals by CJ aka WritinginCT (NC-17)
Fandom: Stargate SGA
Pairing: multiple m/m (primarily OC's), m/f, m/m/f
Warnings: rape/ torture recovery (non graphic descriptions of the assault itself)
Categories: Drama, romance, friendship, family, BDsM.
Disclaimer: I don't own the recognizable characters I'm just inspired by them.
Status: Complete 6/08/2011 53200 words
Summary: Time may have healed their bodies, but for two damaged men assigned to Atlantis, it will take meeting each other to truly become whole again.
Note: Set, with permission, in the alternate SGA universe The Ties That Bind created by keiramarcos , which was inspired by xanthelj 's works Coming Home and General & Dr. Sheppard.
Thanks to singletailwhip for the grammar beta! She's a master comma wrangler and error catcher!
Special thanks to Keira for letting me play in her sandbox and her support and beta. I adore the TTB series and I'm so excited to have permission to be a part of it- thank you, Keira!
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Carmine woke in that same position with a start an hour later to Joey giving his arm a little shake and saying, "Sir, wake up. Your back won't like you in the morning."
Carmine cracked an eye and looked over at Joey and grunted in agreement. The two men got up and took care of their bathroom needs before shutting off the lights in the room and heading back towards the bed, where Joey had turned the covers down. Carmine shucked the borrowed t-shirt and sweats that he had never bothered to change out of and stood there with an expectant look on his face.
Joey blushed and quickly peeled off his own clothing. They crawled under the smooth sheets and Carmine spooned around Joey possessively, wrapping his arms tightly around him and entwining their legs. Sighing contently, Carmine was asleep again almost immediately. He hadn't had any the night before as he had sat in the infirmary next to Joey's bed. He was tired physically and mentally.
Joey lay there awake for a long time with his fingers gently rubbing little circles on the strong arm that Carmine had wrapped around him. His whole life had changed in the past twenty-four hours. He had never allowed himself to hope that he would have this again, that he would find someone who didn't look at him like he was broken and defective. The weight of the collar on his neck was reassuring, as was the way Carmine was using him as his own personal teddy bear. He could feel Carmine's soft cock pressing against his ass, not demanding or ready to cause blood and pain like Borden, rather it was just another beautiful part of an altogether beautiful man. As Joey finally drifted off to sleep himself, he vowed that he would do everything he could to get to a place where he would be able to welcome that beautiful cock inside him.
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Carmine woke to the first fingers of dawn breaking through the window. Somehow in the night he ended up on his back with Joey plastered half on top of him. He blinked and tried to figure out exactly what had woken him up. It only took a moment for him to realize that Joey was apparently dreaming, and by way he was rubbing against Carmine, it was an erotic dream.
With a sleepy grin, and an all too pleased with himself expression, Carmine bent his neck and pressed a kiss to Joey's temple as he shifted a little on the bed.
The movement woke Joey and in the dim light of the breaking dawn, Carmine could see the mortified look on Joey's face when he realized what he had been doing.
"Don't stop on my account," Carmine murmured with a reassuring grin.
"I'm sorry," Joey said in a low voice.
Carmine rolled over on his side, facing Joey, his own very interested cock between them. He ran his hand gently down Joey's chest to his stomach and paused as he asked, "What were you dreaming about?"
"You standing in the hallway yesterday," Joey admitted shyly.
Carmine's hand drifted down to find Joey's cock. It wasn't what anyone would call an impressive erection, but for Joey, it was as hard as he could possibly get. Carmine wrapped his hand around it and said, "So me standing around naked gets you hard?"
Joey moaned and pressed harder into Carmine's hand. "God, yes, sir."
"So, what else were we doing in this dream?" Carmine prodded as he slowly worked Joey's cock.
"I was... ahh... sucking you, sir."
"Mmm, you like the idea of my cock in your mouth with everyone watching, don't you?" Carmine asked as he shifted a bit and aligned his cock with Joeys and wrapped his big hand around both.
Joey was too wrapped up in what was happening physically to answer and Carmine let him be. He pressed closer still and began tormenting Joey's ear with his tongue.
Joey bucked against him in a counter-rhythm to his own stroking and gentle pelvic thrusts. They were in perfect sync and Carmine wasn't surprised when Joey soon gasped and cried out, "I'm coming, sir, oh please, I'm coming."
Carmine stilled for a brief moment to let Joey move against him as he wanted. A full-on shiver went through Joey's entire body and with a sharp gasp from Joey, Carmine felt a hot wetness seep into his hand. When Joey's trembling had eased a bit, Carmine claimed his mouth in a fierce kiss and with only a couple of more strokes added his own contribution to the sticky mess in his hand.
Carmine was immensely pleased, both with himself, and with Joey. The huge leaps of trust Joey had taken with him since yesterday were not lost on him. He kissed Joey's forehead and closed his eyes for a moment, basking in the warm feeling that Joey's trust in him elicited and a post-orgasmic afterglow.
He forced himself not to open his eyes and stay where he was when Joey's whispered, "I'll get a washcloth."
A minute later, he returned with a couple of warm washcloths and efficiently wiped down Carmine's softening cock with one, then used the other on Carmine's hand. When he was done, Carmine felt Joey's lips press a kiss to his palm then say, "That's the first time I've come by anyone else's hand since..."
Carmine sat up and pulled Joey into his arms. With his face tucked near Joey's ear, Carmine promised, "You and I are going to have a lot of first times, and they're all going to be just as good as that one."
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They dozed for another hour before getting up, dressing, and heading for breakfast.
As they walked, Carmine brought up another topic. "I like the view from your quarters better, but my whole team's quarters are together and I think I'd rather us stay in mine."
Joey nodded. "I assumed you would, sir, mine are also in the middle of the enlisted quarters. But I think we should requisition a second desk."
It was Carmine's turn to nod. "I agree, you definitely need your own space to study and work. I'll take care of that and we'll recruit Ramon and Adrian to help move your stuff."
The got into the transporter and Carmine said, "Speaking of my team, I know you're comfortable with Ramon and that you met the others at dinner before, but things will be... different with them now that you're wearing my collar. My team is my second family and we all look out for each other and that includes our collared partners. I trust each and every one of them without question, Joey, and I know that doesn't come easy for you, but if you ever find that you need help and I'm not here for whatever reason, you can trust them. They will protect you like their own and I do the same for their submissives."
"Ramon said that SEALs look out for their own."
"Yes, we do, and god help anyone that fucks with one of ours."
"I'll remember that, sir."
Carmine reached over and rubbed Joey's back affectionately and replied, "Good."
Carmine hadn't removed his hand from Joey's back when they left the transporter and Joey was acutely aware of it on the small of his back as they entered the mess hall.
They spied Adrian and Ramon over near the windows and made their way over there.
Adrian stood, and without asking permission of anyone, wrapped Joey in a bear hug and said happily, "Welcome to the family."
Ramon and Carmine shared a look and rolled their eyes. Adrian was eternally hopeless, but they loved him anyway.
Ramon held out his hand with a grin. "Congratulations, man."
Carmine shook it and replied, "Thanks. And, thanks for the collar, it's perfect."
Ramon glanced over to the silver around Joey's neck and nodded. "He deserves it."
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After a hasty breakfast, Joey and Carmine headed for the infirmary. Carson had insisted that he wanted to see Joey for a quick check before releasing him back to his duties.
The smile that crossed Carson's face was wide and genuine as he took in the sight of the collar around Joey's neck. He had fretted to himself about the two men all night and was glad that things appeared to have worked out after all.
Carson directed the two men to a private exam room, and Joey hopped up on a bed. Carson looked to Carmine and asked, "May I, Commander?"
Carmine nodded, and Carson efficiently completed Joey's cursory exam.
"You're right as rain this morning, Sergeant. No reason you can not return to your duties." He turned towards Carmine and continued, "First, let me offer my heartfelt congratulations on your pairing, I was worried about you both last night. Second, SGC policy requires a monthly physical for all collared submissives, so we'll need to get that scheduled."
"Things probably wouldn't have worked out quite so well without your help, Doc, and we both really appreciate it. As far as the physical goes, will that be with you personally?" Carmine asked.
"Aye, unless it's a medical emergency, I will be handling all of the Sergeant's medical needs myself."
"Good, I think we'd both prefer it that way," Carmine replied, and Joey nodded his vehement agreement.
"Not a problem. Now, I know yesterday was... a big day for you both. Do I need to perform a more thorough exam this morning?" He looked to Joey and added, "Do you have any pain or open areas on your skin? Any anal soreness or bleeding?"
Joey flushed scarlet and dropped his eyes to the floor. Carmine could see Joey's distress and stepped closer to lay a warm hand on the back of Joey's neck. He answered Carson neutrally, "Doc, just for your own information, I'm not a sadist, not in the least. I don't get off on causing the people I top pain, it's just not my thing. We did play a little, but there were no restraints or toys used, and there was no penetration."
Carson opened his mouth to ask something else then closed it again. Carmine raised an eyebrow in near-amusement and answered the unspoken question, "Yes, he did. Twice actually, once last night and again early this morning."
"Thank you for being so forthright, Commander."
Carson turned back to Joey and asked gently, "Was there any pain or burning when you became aroused or ejaculated, Sergeant? Anything I should be concerned about?"
"No, sir. None at all."
'Good, but I expect you to let me know immediately if you do, all right?"
"Yes, sir."
Carson turned back to Carmine and said, "Now Sergeant Olsen has been seeing Dr. Emily Johnson, one of our psychologists. She's a documented submissive herself and he's indicated that's he's very comfortable with her and does not wish to switch therapists. Will you be making any changes regarding that?"
Carmine shook his head, "No. He trusts her and I see no reason to change things. And for the record, if it would help Joey, I would be more than willing to do some joint sessions with him."
"Excellent. I will pass that information along to her when I notify her of Sergeant Olsen's change in status."
Carson's trained eye could see the way that Joey's entire body relaxed with Carmine's hand on his neck. It was good sign in Carson's book, as was the fact that Joey had achieved an orgasm not once but twice with the Commander in the past day. It all boded very well for their relationship as well as Olsen's self-esteem.
"Well then, you are all set, Sergeant. I'll update both your records to show that you are now Commander Picone's collared submissive. And it should go without saying, but I'll say it again for the record, if either of you have questions I can answer, please don't hesitate to ask."
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Carmine walked Joey all the way to the balcony of the control room. It was starting to get busy with teams gearing up to head off world.
Carmine surprised Joey by pulling him in close and kissing him long, slow, and possessively right there in front of everyone. He left absolutely no room for doubt as to whose collar Joey was now wearing.
With an amused smiled on his face he reluctantly let go of Joey and ordered playfully, "Go on and get to work, I've got a briefing to get to."
Joey flushed just like Carmine knew that he would and he nodded and replied, "Yes, sir."
Joey turned and headed down the stairs. Just before he turned the corner to head to his work area, he looked back up at the balcony, and as his fingertips found his collar, he flashed Carmine a quick smile.
Carmine nodded once and turned to head back for the transporter.
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Someone fell into step with Carmine and he wasn't surprised to see Master Chief Frost.
As the doors closed behind them in the transporter, Frost said, "Congratulations, Commander."
"Thank you, Master Chief," Carmine replied respectfully. Even though he outranked him, Frost was a SEAL, a brother, and that more than transcended rank.
"Just for my own information, will you both be settling into Sergeant Olsen's quarters, Commander, or yours?"
"Mine, to be near my team."
Frost grinned and said, "That's I what I suspected your answer would be. We take care of our own, Commander."
"Yes, we do, Master Chief. Speaking of our own, how is Doctor Taylor settling in?"
"Very well, thank you for asking. Dr. Weir has him doing some interesting work that fits well with his education and he's finding it challenging and interesting. Plus there is practically an unlimited supply of new things for him study in the Ancient database."
"That's good to hear. Please give him my regards and remind him that we're just down the hall from you both if he ever needs us." The transporter opened and they stepped out. Carmine asked, "Are you sitting in on this briefing, Master Chief?"
Frost shook his head, he hadn't specifically been invited and queried, "Which briefing is this, sir?"
Carmine grinned. "We're going for a swim tomorrow."
Frost raised an eyebrow in question and Carmine explained. "We're going to gear up and take a dive under the city. Pictures and schematics are one thing, but we all want a nice clear visual in our heads as to what the underneath of this city looks like and what the environment down there is really like just in case we need to do some diving in an attack scenario."
Frost got a wistful look in his eye at the thought of a dive and Carmine grinned and teased, "You're welcome to join us, Master Chief, the more the merrier. "
Frost grinned back and said, "I just might take you up on that, Commander."
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Steven watched the two personal messages he had received via subspace communication and got up and pulled a bottle of very old and seldom drunk bourbon out of the cupboard. He poured himself three fingers and sat back down in front of his laptop again and tapped a key.
Joey's face filled the screen again and Steven's eyes couldn't help but focus on the gorgeous silver collar now gracing Joey's neck.
When Joey began speaking on-screen, Steven really looked at him and he could see a light in the sub's eyes that had been missing for entirely too long.
"Steven, I wish I was having this conversation with you in person but maybe... maybe it's better this way. You told me that if I found someone to give them a chance, to try to trust someone again. Well I took that chance, and I accepted a collar from Commander Picone." Joey flashed a happy grin to him on the screen and continued, "You were right when you said he and I just might be good for each other, I really think we are. He doesn't treat me like I'm broken and he's taking everything slowly, at my pace. Our dynamic fit is good, really good actually, and I'm remembering how to enjoy being a submissive, if that makes any sense."
Joey paused on-screen for a moment then said, "Carmine and I had a long talk about you and he accepts that you are the closest thing to family that I have and that you are very important to me. He wants you to have dinner with us when you're back in Pegasus, I think he wants to put you at ease by showing you how we are in private."
Joey swallowed hard and a little sadness crossed the sub's face as he continued, "Steven, this is probably... actually I know this is hurting you and I'm sorry. Sometimes I feel like all I do is break your heart. I wish you had someone with you, someone who would take care of you and love you, and that fits with you perfectly in all the ways I couldn't. So I want you to promise me something this time, I want you to promise me that you'll stop carrying around my collar and those damn rings, because I'd bet a year's pay that they're behind you in your underwear drawer, and I want you to find someone who makes you happy. Please. Do this for me. Because no matter what happens in the future, I've loved you in one way or another since the day I met you and I don't want you to be alone."
Steven lifted his glass and let some of the smooth liquor slide down his throat. He tapped another key and Picone's face once again filled the screen.
"Colonel. I know Joey sent you his own message but I wanted keep the air clear between us. Joey accepted my collar. And yes, I know all about Borden and what exactly he did to Joey. Normally I wouldn't feel the need to justify myself to anyone but I want you to know that none of it matters to me, not his scars, and certainly not his other injuries. I want and accept him exactly the way he is with no reservations. I'm going to work hard every single day to earn his trust and the gifts he gives me."
There was no hesitancy on Picone's part, and the strength of his conviction was evident in his tone.
"I love him, Steven. I haven't told him that yet, but it's that simple. And I'm telling you all this because I know that you do, too, and that you worry about him. I'd like to invite you to have dinner with us when you arrive back here, but I'll understand if you're uncomfortable with that. I've also thought long and hard about what I'm about to say next. Normally, I'm a possessive bastard that would never let my collared submissive be alone with another Dom socially, but I've decided that if you and Joey wish to continue your occasional visits and dinners alone that I will allow it. I trust him completely and I trust you. I just don't think it would be good for Joey for me to forbid it. He considers you family, Steven, and in my world there isn't anything more important than that. I'm going to sign off on that note, but I'm sure we'll talk when you reach Atlantis."
The video recording ended and Steven sat there staring at the blank screen for a long time. He brought his glass to his lips and finished off his bourbon. He stood up with the intention of pouring himself more, but instead found himself standing in front of the drawers in his sleeping area. He opened up his top drawer and moved his crisply folded white undershirts aside to reveal a flat, hinged wooden box. He hesitated only a moment before picking it up and opening it.
Nestled inside it on navy blue velvet were Joey's collars, all three of them. His leather work collar was well-worn and broken-in, it had been the one that Joey had worn the most. The burnished white gold everyday collar had seen more use when they were off duty than on, and as Steven ran a thumb over its thick links, he could still remember the way it had felt so heavy in his hands has he put it on Joey for the first time on that ski trip. The dress collar was a nod to the expected, neither he or Joey had wanted some elaborate diamond encrusted dress collar but Joey had needed one that would be more appropriate with his dress uniform, so they had compromised and found one that was very classy without being showy. Joey had only worn it a few times.
The two gold rings lying in the center of them all had never been worn by anyone. Heavy gold, with an inlaid braid detail, the sturdy rings had been picked out to last a lifetime, but instead they had been the catalyst to their separation.
As he stared at those rings, Steven thought to himself that Joey was right, he needed to move forward and stop holding onto the past and onto the hope that the life with Joey that he had planned would ever come to fruition. He certainly hadn't been celibate since their split, but neither had he allowed anyone to really get close to him and hadn't allowed himself any emotional attachments.
He closed the box gently and locked it. With the box still in hand he closed the drawer and moved over towards his desk where a small packing crate held books and other things he was sending to his storage unit when they next reached Earth, and with a wince he carefully placed the box in the crate.
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Carmine had been right about them falling into domestic bliss very quickly. Joey had a strong caregiver streak that showed in the way he enjoyed puttering around their quarters taking care of meals, laundry, and various and sundry other little things.
It took Carmine a little getting used to in truth, he knew that Joey worked just as hard as he did every day, some days harder in fact, and he made it very clear to Joey that there wouldn't be any repercussions if he skipped the chores when he was tired or needed to study.
Joey, on the other hand, was thrilled. He had a natural knack for managing his time and he honestly enjoyed making sure that their quarters weren't just a place to sleep and shower, but rather he made it their sanctuary away from the pressure and endless insanity of their mission.
With food in the cupboard and company he adored coming to, Carmine felt like he almost had a home--a real home. Lisa had never made any effort to make a home for them. The apartments they had shared had been maintained by a cleaning lady and decorated in bold, modern styles, Lisa's styles more precisely.
Carmine carefully held together two pieces of the model car he was working on at his desk and looked over to where Joey was sorting out clean laundry on the bed. Joey had his mp3 player on and was listening to a recorded lecture for his class as he put away their clean clothes. Carmine grinned at the sight of Joey dressed only in his collar and a pair of old faded jeans, his feet and torso bare. Although the sight of a half-dressed Joey would always make him grin, in truth it was more the idea that after only a little over a week of wearing his collar Joey was comfortable in his own skin around Carmine.
Joey put away the last of their clothes and turned off the mp3 player. He grimaced as he removed his earbuds.
He stepped over to his own desk next to Carmine's and dropped the mp3 player there. He turned to face Carmine and laid his hand on Carmine's shoulder and said, "They should use that lecture as a cure for insomnia."
Carmine chuckled. "That good, huh?"
"It gives new meaning to boring," Joey said as he inspected Carmine's progress on the model of a 1950 Ford pickup truck. "This is coming out really good. Have you been making models a long time?"
"Been doing them since I was a kid. It's relaxing."
"Your father teach you?"
"Yeah, we'd spend hours when I was younger. Papa still buys me a new kit for Christmas every year."
"It's nice that you have that with him. It can be something you pass on to your own children some day."
Carmine carefully released the pieces he had been holding and swiveled his chair around to face Joey. He opened his legs and pulled Joey closer and looked up at him. The wistful tone in Joey's voice about having a father and children wasn't lost on Carmine. "I'm sorry you don't have any good memories like that. Growing up in foster homes the way you did... I just can't imagine it."
Joey's hands were warm on his shoulders and his thumbs were making little swirling motions on Carmine's skin. "And I can't imagine growing up like you did. But don't think my life was all bad. There were a few foster families that were actually pretty good, the Bradleys for one. I lived with them for about eight months when I was ten. Mr. Bradley taught me a little about tools and he gave me this old lawn tractor to tinker with"
Carmine grinned. "Sounds like something my father would do to keep us from taking apart something important."
Joey nodded. "Exactly, but Mr. Bradley had a good laugh though, because by the end of summer I had the old one running better than his new one."
"So, you're naturally mechanically inclined?"
Joey teased as he let his fingers dig into the muscles of Carmine's neck. "Yep, I'm naturally good with my hands."
Carmine responded with a groan of agreement. He dropped his forehead to rest on Joey's bare stomach and let himself enjoy the impromptu massage for a couple of minutes.
Carmine's face was still facing the floor when he broached gently, "So that's something we haven't talked about."
"What's that, sir?"
"Us, kids."
"Oh."
Carmine sat up and tugged Joey down into his lap and said, "Do you like kids? Want kids? Someday I mean, not right now obviously, we're both committed out here for at least the rest of the one year deployment I agreed to. But would you want me to collar a woman who would give us both children when we're back on Earth?"
The one uncompromising thing that both men each demanded from the other was honesty. Joey knew this and though he hesitated a bit, answered Carmine. "I like kids and I had always dreamed of having a family of my own someday. Steven and I had planned to find a surrogate. And after he and I split up, I actually started the process to become a foster parent myself with the idea of permanently adopting one or two. But then I ended up deployed for a while to Germany then California and with all the bouncing around I had to put everything on hold. Then when I was finally in a stable place deployment-wise at the SGC, Borden happened. Now I'm out here. I guess I just sort of thought I would have to let go of the idea of having a family of my own."
Carmine's hand was gently stroking Joey's thigh and he replied, "I never wanted a houseful like most of my family, but I think a couple'd be great, especially a daughter. I really want a little girl I can spoil like a princess. I do like your idea of adopting, too, there are just too many kids out there that need a real home. So I guess we're good on this, and just have to be a little more settled, yeah?"
"Yeah," Joey said with a grin, looking like he had just opened another in a long line of great gifts.
Carmine claimed Joey's mouth with his own, teasing and turning them both on. When he pulled back, he had a teasing glint in his eyes and he said, "Let's play."
Joey flushed and replied as he stood up, "Your will is mine, sir." He moved towards the bed and removed his jeans and boxers and knelt gracefully awaiting Carmine's instructions.
Carmine went to their toy box in the corner and removed a few new things he had added just yesterday at Dr. Johnson's suggestion. He moved over to the open section of wall with its conveniently placed eye bolts and attached the two loops of soft rope to them. The loops hung loosely down from the bolts by almost a foot, and with Joey's hands slipped through them, they would give him something to strain and pull against the same as any normal cuff would, but they would also not cause Joey to panic like the thought of traditional bondage did because he could easily get out of them.
He then took four small metal blocks and pressed them to the floor. The floor self-attached the blocks in the same way that the walls almost magically took in hooks. Two of the blocks were spaced shoulder width apart, the other two separated from them by a few inches--just enough for a foot. The blocks would again give Joey a sense of bondage and act as a spreader bar would, but was easy for him to get out of should it be panic inducing. These improvised restraints were a first step into as-yet uncharted territory in their new relationship.
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Part 9
Time Heals index