Comments | writwritewrote: Joss100 Challenge: Ficlet # 14 - One of the Dead and #15

writwritewrote

Joss100 Challenge: Ficlet # 14 - One of the Dead and #15 - Back to Life

Nov 13, 2005 00:52

written for Joss100I've included a song between these two stories, because it acts as a bridge between them - I hope it works the way I intend. Basically, I want these two short little fics to flow from one right to the other, with the lyrics to the song connecting them. It's late at night and I'm not explaining myself well. Hopefully, anyone reading ( Read more... )

joss100, firefly, mal/river

Comments 17

songs_of_winter November 13 2005, 07:50:55 UTC

That's a really good metaphor... and I like how you introduced it. Keep up the awesome work!

writwritewrote November 13 2005, 13:29:57 UTC

Thank you. I like it as well, because it really works for Mal. It might pop up again in a future story, actually - only in reverse, if you know what I mean.

lattelady6 November 13 2005, 08:45:42 UTC

Wow you are a fantastic writer. You've got Mal and you've got River...the characters they matured into for and furing the movie. Beautifully done.

wait, what did I miss? nessataleweaver November 13 2005, 10:46:50 UTC

when did River kiss Jayne? Where was I? Are we talking about something in your little things series, 'cause I thought that was established relationship for River/Jayne. I've looked through all the posts you made in mal/river LJ.

oops, sorry nessataleweaver November 13 2005, 10:48:40 UTC

just went back and checked your personal LJ. Found it! But I don't think you posted it on the mal/river lj. Might want to check that.

Re: oops, sorry writwritewrote November 13 2005, 13:28:41 UTC

I will check - I thought I had, but maybe not. I'm glad you like it so far.

mutelorelei November 13 2005, 10:49:56 UTC

I really like this! Great reading.

If I may offer up a small suggestion though (and I apologize for sounding like every annoying english teacher you've ever had), is that sometimes you do that 'telling instead of showing' thing, and showing through action and more subtle thoughts makes for even better stories. I tell you this because I already think you're a very good writer, not because I think you're a bad one.

writwritewrote November 13 2005, 13:28:04 UTC

I loved my annoying English teachers, so no worries. I'm not quite sure what you mean though - probably because it's early and my brain is fried. My son had a sleepover last night, and since they were up all night talking I didn't get any sleep, so excuse the "Huh?" LOL.

Uhm....*small voice*..."Huh?"

mutelorelei November 13 2005, 14:39:06 UTC

My brain is kinda fried this morning too, but then again, it usually is (I hate mornings), but I'll try to explain in a coherent fashion ( ... )

mutelorelei November 13 2005, 14:49:42 UTC

Not crazy at all. I've reread it and I see what you're saying. I sort of did it that way purposely, honestly, because I was trying something out. To be perfectly honest, I was more interested in linking the song. Weird, I know - but the first verse fits so well with the first story and the last verse (which is a repeat of the first) fits so well with the last story.

By which I mean, the first verse, he's buried.

The end of the song (in regards to the second story) he's not buried anymore, he's gone. Am I explaining that properly? Still haven't had a coffee yet this morning. I've never done something like that before and I don't think it worked, to be perfectly honest.

Oh well, live and learn.

Thread 6