I've spent the last 2 years of my life searching. I wasn't sure what i was searching for but it was out there somewhere. Just as i was feeling like was never going to find it, there it was right under my nose. Deep down inside I always felt like i was different i wasn't attracted to guys in the same way my friends were, it always worked out better ( Read more... )

So I haven't upedated in about a zillion years, well maybe not that long but it's been a while.n So here goes ( Read more... )

So Lisa has been gone for the last 2 weeks, over this period of time I have realized  that I cannot live without her. She is everything to me. Lisa has been with me through everything. She was there when I smoked my first cigarrette and  when I took my first shot. She sat by my side and held me when I cried over my first broken heart. She is the ( Read more... )

I've had the best weekend ever! Yesterday I spent the night with Derek. I love how I feel like i'm a part of his family. Me, Derek, and his parents went to the mall. Derek baught me a hoodie... which i know is no big deal... but i'm excited. Then we all went to the movie store and rented movies. Ray got all excited.. it was quite cute actually. ( Read more... )

"It's hard to say that I was wrong
It's hard to say I miss you
Since you've been gone, it's not the same
It's hard to say I held my tongue
It's hard to say if only
Since you've been gone, it's not the same"

I thought I was getting over you, but it turns out all I did was shove every thought of you into the back of my mind. It hurts so much to think that ( Read more... )

Things have been pretty depressing lately. I was confused and lost. But now it seems that i am starting to find myself. Things will be fine between me cori and travis, and if they aren't then it is time to let go. I'm tired of puting everything that i have into these people. It seems that all they do is take it for granted. If cori wants to talk to ( Read more... )

"However far away ( Read more... )

Well Here I am.. I did it.. something i never thought i would do. I'm glad i did it.. but at the same time i'm not. I really did need to get away from yarrow.. at the time i was being put through a lot.. that i didn't think i deserved at all. Moving away from all of the stress has helped my relationship with clint a lot too. We depend on each other ( Read more... )

It's like you're a drug

It's like you're a demon I can't face down

It's like I'm stuck

It's like I'm running from you all the time

And I know I let you have all the power

It's like the only company I seek is misery all around

It's like you're a leech

Sucking the life from me

Its like I can't breathe

Without you inside of me

And I know I let you ( Read more... )

So many things are going through my head right now i dont know where to start. I'm sick of pretending these things aren't happening... i'm sick of pretending things are perfect. My mom and cori are right... what they are saying is true and i have been denying it because i didn't want to think it was happening. Realizing this has been the hardest ( Read more... )