So he finally wrote me. I was so happy. End of story.

I detest everything. I was foolish. I am foolish, and yet I still hold on. Hoping. I have nothing else to wish for. I'm so sick of living with my mother acting as if she were a child. And then when people ask what's wrong and I explain they tell me they don't want to hear it. Because they are so tired of dealing with her. Well guess what so am I. ( Read more... )

I wrote a prayer down and stuck it in my prayer box, the one I wear daily around my neck. I prayed for a way to stop focusing on my emotional pain. I got it, even if temporary. Torn ligaments, three of them in various areas in my right ankle and foot. How? A little too much crank dat to the Soulja Boy dance. My third dance injury this year. I've ( Read more... )

Tommorow marks the fifth day of not hearing your voice. I thought I wouldn't miss you. Strike that, I knew I would, just not to this extent. I wasn't involved on that level. A month ago I would have said that your leaving was probably for the best. Now I'm reduced to nothing but shaking and tears when I think of your absence. I am enraged at myself ( Read more... )

Who am I to judge what is right and wrong? I should just do it. So it's done, over with. He'll be happy. I can get it out of my head and we'll move on. I wish he'd take it for what it was though. This isn't a relationship. This isn't close to a relationship ( Read more... )

So Christmas has come and gone. Much to my despise. I love the holiday season far too much to let it drift like a sieve from me. I had a good christmas. Christmas eve was a night filled with wine and the traditional drunkopoly. I awoke to presents. 4:45 am - A little past noon. That's how long it took to open all of mine. I had 4 houses to go to, ( Read more... )

Theres hatchets that protrude from my olive, yet pale skin. In the pelvic region I am bones. I stick out in all directions, feeling myself up. Feeling at the hard glass like masses beneath my skin. It's peaceful. Sunken stomach and shrinking thighs. Stomach growls. It shrivels deep within the night. I am bones.

I wanna laugh.
I wanna smile.
I wanna live.

Like I did.

Firstly I talked to him ( Read more... )

So I told him on Tuesday. He hasn't really talked to me since then. Not even looked at me. It's slightly depressing. Infact I've cried alot but I'm done crying. It's not worth it ( Read more... )