i just can't deal with this anyore,
it's like i suddenly hit the "full" mark in my emotional capacity,
there's no space left to think,
&& i know it goes downhill from here

it's not your fault
that everything makes me sad,
that everything you do reminds me of him,
that i just can't love like a normal person

i need him back--
here beside me, to remind me to ( Read more... )

being lied too is not what hurts the most, its knowing you werent even worth the truth

Stop falling in love with everything that lets you down.

He reached for her hand.

"I don't want to lose you."

She could feel the tears coming and she fought them back.

"But you don't want to keep me either, do you?"

To that, he had no response.

Promise me.

That's all I ( Read more... )

I close my eyes and I take a deep breath and I think about my life and how I ended up this way. I think about the ruin, devastation, and wreckage I have caused to myself and to others. I think about the self hatred and self loathing. I think about how and why and what happened and the thoughts come easy, but the answers don’t.

When you speak words ( Read more... )

i was so desperate for him

to love me, want me, to fight for me,

that i was literally grateful for any mere scrap

of effort he put in.
-It’s Called A Break-Up Because It's Broken

The word "busy " is a load of crap and is most often used by assholes. The word "busy" is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction.

Remember: Men are never too ( Read more... )

she’s banged up

mentally

emotionally

literally

metaphorically

but everyday she walks outside with a smile on her face

because that’s who she is.

She had been too busy trying to transform herself into the kind of person who doesn't
need anything from anybody, a wall of pure bricks. In the meantime, she had
forgotten that when people walk into walls of ( Read more... )

                                                      And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe it's you, on your own,
 picking up the pieces and starting over
freeing yourself up for something better in the future.

Maybe the happy ending is just moving on.

You realize that when people say you've changed,
it's because you stopped living ( Read more... )

So things have been crazyyyyy.

Boys...ha.

Boys will be boys I suppose. Keith really hurt me. He got upset when I told him having sex with him wasnt a good idea for me right now cause I've been trying to get my life together and having sex with someone who doesnt have any feelings for me does not help. So he was going through a lot and after that he ( Read more... )

I was so naive
to think that you could ever be mine.

It's not so easy,
knowing loving you will never be enough.

Even I can't trust myself with loving you.

If you love me, please let me know.
If not, gently let me go.

I guess second best is all I'll ever be.

Well I'm sorry for believing that you could ever be different
for trusting you that you could prove ( Read more... )

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

Latley everything has been sooo messed up. I've been running in circles with the same fucking problems every damn day so its about time I wrote them down so I can atleast get them outtt.

Work

Staples. Oh ... staples. I got fired ( Read more... )

Life is so fucking random.

Work.
I work at Staples in Bellingham now, which I used to love but now it makes me go nuts. Gah. I also work the overnight shift at CVS which totally blows but whatever its alright money. Looking to get a new job as a waitress soon hopefully.

Boys.
Hmm... complicated subject. So much has happened since I last updated this. ( Read more... )