i was there. so was he. and we both know what happened. but i just cant find it in me not to be his friend. i cant manage it. when i mention the fact that ive loved him for six years, i meant it. its just...transformed. i love him in a way you love a confidant youve had for years. the guy who watches dick and fart joke movies with you. someone you ( Read more... )

i fought it so fucking hard. i lost. im wrapped in it now. so badly tangled i may never figure which way is out. as always, and like all changes, it settles over me in a slow calm. like imagining the words carefully written out in giant print across your mind. UNATTAINABLE. "congratulations, you stupid fuck." sneers the logic sluicing around my ( Read more... )

i wonder what itll be. will it take this hole away? will i finally get to leave this god-forsaken shit pit? oooo, presents. i cant fucking wait....

i want it so fucking bad i can feel it in waves as it passes across my skin. i want blood again. i want to tear and rip and break. i want to defile everything ive built and begin again with this. it always comes back. and once i hear it call to me, theres no ignoring it. its so close this time. its all ive ever asked for with no compromising. only ( Read more... )

I found the dream. I found the fucking dream. I had it in my fucking hands. I touched and tasted it. And I cant keep it. Id probly be to chicken shit to do so if I could.

im starting to wonder where exactly i hid myself. and wether or not i miss me. its been so long since ive looked up. i can feel the troubles calling me back. reminding me of how comfortable they were, and how they made me see the world i wanted. do i want to go home? all this pining for reality only to actually get some. and i think i may hate it. ( Read more... )

Your Personality Is Like Ecstasy
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Your Candy Heart Says "Get Real"
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