Like rain on a day off, I'm back here again. The fucking needy one. What the fuck was I thinking, trying again? Isn't the definition of insanity trying the same thing repeatedly expecting different results? No matter what, after a while I'm not very interesting, people move on. Whether they're goodly enough to stay or not. Even though the basis of ( Read more... )

I know this makes me a total prick, but I miss it. I miss it how it was. The urgency you had for me. The way you couldn't keep your hands off me. The way we were obsessed with each other. Though I suppose, it could've just been me......

it was like all that work was for nothing. i did all that jumping through hoops for nothing. i spent all that time saying how high. maybe i gave you too much of what you wanted. bored already, darlin?

the medium in which i hid from life is gone. dead. decomposing. still vaguely shaped like the refuge i recall, but filled with holes. moldering. collapsing. we look at each other like friends from far too long ago, grown out of each other and awkward. across a sprawling gap of monotony and slow, painful growth. its gone. wonder where ill hide now

always on this side of things, ne? waiting, not waited upon. chasing, not chased. is it merely tied to your nature, or is there just no sense of equal? i thought we'd agreed to stop this. i suppose not. though, there is a way. what caliber do decisions come in.....

airless heights entwined with earth encasing lows. endless knowing wrapped in organ twisting insecurity. and all there ever is to do is wait and see. if its just a spell, let me stay tangled just a little longer, darling...

it was never real. any of it. and for all the supposed enlightenment i could spew forth whenever asked, im still surprised. none of it means, meant anything. every goddamned thing is posturing. but somehow were all pushed to treat things like theyre important. forced to bend as though were doing it for a cause. just more bullshit piled on bullshit.

fuck. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. fuck fuck ( Read more... )

i am not. shadow after shadow await to pull this stream of consciousness along. forcing that which never was to continue traversing the void unending. it hunts the final sleep. it must one day have its prey.

i see what i want and im stuck where i am. fucking kill me already.