How many "day 2"'s have I had over the past couple of years? Haha. It's crazy, how we get stuck in this endless cycle; actually believing there is a way out. Being naive enough to convince ourselves that a certain weight will unleash our happiess at long last and we will find that peace we have been searching for for goodness knows how long. For me ( Read more... )

I am so sick of failing everyone. My boyfriend is beyond disappointed in me, I can see it every time he looks at me. Every day over and over there is always something negative to say; something I've got wrong. I should know better. I should try harder. I should stop making silly mistakes. There is one thing I will suceed at and it is this. I haven' ( Read more... )

Horrible day. Starting to cut down my food intake gradually as of today, simple things like taking the lowest fat/cal option and cutting out certain obvious foods altogether. Unfortunately this post will have less to do with my eating for the day and more to do with my boyfriend and what he has said to me today ( Read more... )

Today things will slowly begin to turn around. They have to.

I'm just drifing, no longer a part of anything. I feel so alone, I look around but there's no-one to either side of me. Nobody behind me, keeping a close eye. Nobody infront of me, guiding the way. It's not just the winter that is cold, you've become cold also. My heart is aching, my hands shaking. Everything is so still, so quiet. Yet my head is ( Read more... )

I'm losing gradually though I can't physically see it myself. I am trying to take a positive spin on my life, though it's a bit of a challenge as I'm such a horribly negative person. I'm trying to change my way of thinking from "glass half empty" to "glass half full ( Read more... )

Going round and round in circles. Over and over. Spinning and unable to stop. One day, one feeling; the next day, another. Will this pointless cycle ever end?

Food complicates everything.

I am having a day where I so badly want to feel normal. I want to get off this damn LiveJournal (please forgive me) and live my life. I had an amazing day with my fiance, we did eat pizza (I know I know) but.. it.. was.. great. And why shouldn't it be? I used to enjoy food, hell, I used to love it. Hence why I'm so fat and ugly. Hmph. We went on a ( Read more... )

Today started beautifully and ended in failure. But tomorrow I will get myself on track again and focus harder this time. Each fail just brings me a little closer to finding my strength. Every disappointment only makes me more determined than the day before.

I have tomorrow all planned out, from the moment I wake til when I go to sleep. Bit OCD, ( Read more... )