I can't do this anymore.
I want to be with you.
Yeah, I do.
But, I can't be with you when you're with someone else.

And it's not fair to either of us.
Her and I. 
You're winning the jackpot.
Fucking me one night,
telling her you love her the next.

And it's true you might love her.
But how can you love someone
and then fuck someone else.

I don't know what's ( Read more... )

So, I graduated from high school.
It doesn't feel like it at all.
Still dealing with the same old shit.

I don't know what my plans are.
All I know is that I need to get my shit together.
I can't keep living this way.

I've slept with Dan three times.
Last night was the third time.
I don't know why I do it.
Yes, I do.
It's amazing and the way I feel with him ( Read more... )

A lot of shit has happened since I last updated.

I crashed my car with Courtney in it.
So, I don't have a car anymore.
It fucking sucks, but I'm dealing with it as best as I can.

I got fired from Christina's.
I got a job at Journey's in a matter of three days.
My mom's pissed about it because she has to pick me up sometimes and it cuts into her let's go ( Read more... )

Last night was Rachel's birthday party.
It was awesome.
Until I threw up all over my stuff.

Things that happened:

1. John Larkin's and I made peace.
2. I told Skyler Pittenger that I would've had sex with him if I was bleeding out of my vagina.
3. Rudi and Skyler spit raps.
4. Hilary and I got piss drunk and both threw up.
5. I couldn't find her and I was freaking out.

It's Valentine's Day.
It's a really shitty day.
It's only going to get worse.

First bad thing,
I wanted to have school so I could see Dan.
Before I leave for a WEEK.
Now, not only am I not going to see him,
I can't even give him his card and chocolates.

Second bad thing,
it's snowing like a mother fucker.
I'm supposed to leave for Colorado tonight.
Doesn't ( Read more... )

Dan and I started dating on Wednesday.
People either thinks it's cute or just plain weird.
I understand both points.

I feel myself gettting happier.

Here's my therapy. Writing everything I'm feeling in a letter to the person without sending it.

Chelsea:

Oh boy. Where to start? Well, let's start at the beginning. I fell in love with you the first time I heard your name. I will swear by it. I still love you to this day. But, the time came when I needed to love myself more than I love you. I don't ( Read more... )

I don't know if my car's going to get fixed. ): It's going to cost a lot and I mean a lot of money.
This fucking sucks. I want my baby back. I'm going crazy without her.

How in the world did I ever live without driving? Ugh. I don't know. 
I think it's just that I've got independence and I'm so independent that I swallowed as much as I could.

Anywho. I ( Read more... )

I got in a car accident yesterday.
I'm okay but my car isn't.

Chelsea thinks we need to talk.
I don't really know if I want to.

I think I like Dan.
Ugh. It's bad.

Everything's badddddd. 
Nah, just for right now. 
It could always be worse.
Though it could always be better.

Anyways, I just wanted to quickly update.

Just a quick update:

Things are kind of awkward with Hilary and I. We're supposed to hang out on Saturday with Courtney. We'll see what happens. Eh.

Chelsea and I are still not speaking. I don't really care anymore. I don't know why I even bothered with her. I do know why though, because I love her and that's what I do with people I love. But, I ( Read more... )