Your Sorrow for Another Coin - Chapter Four

[x_strangeangels]

Your Sorrow for Another Coin
Chapter Four: Heart held out like a tin cup

Word Count:  7109
Overall Pairing(s):  John/OFC, Dean/OFC (Het)
Overall Rating:  NC-17 (This chapter: NC-17)
Feedback: Absolutely. Concrit is always welcome.
Disclaimer:  The Winchester boys aren't mine but I'd make Dean wear his boots all of the time if they were.
Spoilers/

Comments

[pheebs1]

The junkyard man - loved this ref to Bobby. Just had to get that off my chest before I say how I continue to enjoy this. Dean and that pen..ahhhhhhh.

[elanurel]

I was hoping that someone would pick up on the Bobby reference. I was particularly proud of that one. ;)

*smishes*

[dharkapparition]

Twirls you.

I'm loving this more and more. It totally hits me in the gut.

[elanurel]

*is dizzy*

And blushing very much. The best that I hoped for with this one would be people liking the story, so your comments always make me squee more than just a little bit. ;-P

[alexandra_08]

That was so... wonderful. The writing is for me as weighted as it is light, and everything is so vivid. Still full of light, still with clouds hanging. Pressing harder upon my chest.

There was fire trapped in that sound, fire and loss and the whir of tires on the highway singing two little boys to sleep.
Love that line. And the Irish incantation.

[elanurel]

Thank you so much!

This story is something of an experiment for me and stylistically different than most of my other stories, so I am thrilled that people are enjoying it. It's important to me on several levels, which I'll reveal when I post the last chapter, and I hope that you'll stay for the full ride. ;-P

I can take no real credit for the Irish incantation. All I did was a little research and some minor (and most likely incorrect) translation for five whole words. Other folks definitely get the credit for it.

[star_maple]

Argh. Sorry it took so long to get to this. My internet has been imploding. :P

At any rate I really love the changes you made, especially in the last section. Really well done. I think you've conveyed exactly what you wanted to, and managed to rein in Alice's run-on sentences just enough. :)

[elanurel]

No worries! ;-P

At any rate I really love the changes you made, especially in the last section. Really well done. I think you've conveyed exactly what you wanted to, and managed to rein in Alice's run-on sentences just enough. :)

Thank you! I appreciated your help in pointing out the important things I should be stressing, which really helped clean up the final section for me.

Sometimes, I live for the day when I can write Charlotte or Penny POV. Alice's run-on sentences can hurt someone's brain. (If I can't read them out loud and not hear a natural flow to them, they get edited. ;-P)

[star_maple]

I really appreciated getting to work through it like that with you in chat. I think it makes me a better beta. When I read through a whole document I tend not to see the little things, but look on the piece as a whole. I really only notice the stuff that *stands out* as being wrong. When we were looking at it paragraph by paragraph it really let me focus on smaller pieces, and I'd like to think I was more of a help.

[elanurel]

It was definitely a help to me...but a bad thing for me to know. Now there are three people who let me spam them in IM.

*face palms*

[kjfri]

I like this view into something special that's just for Dean - something good in his life. But I'm nervous about all the daunting portents that seem to swirl around the Winchesters. More soon, please!!

[elanurel]

Thank you so much! I've been working on this story since late February, in some form or fashion (usually on scratch paper outlines) and I'm thrilled whenever folks let me know that they're enjoying it.

But I'm nervous about all the daunting portents that seem to swirl around the Winchesters.

Bwa ha ha... I mean, you really shouldn't be. ;-P