Your Sorrow for Another Coin - Chapter Five

[x_strangeangels]

Your Sorrow for Another Coin
Chapter Five: Barely enough time to sing

Word Count:  ~8600
Overall Pairing(s):  John/OFC, Dean/OFC (Het)
Overall Rating:  NC-17 (This chapter: R - Language, Sex)
Feedback: Absolutely. Concrit is always welcome.
Disclaimer:  The Winchester boys aren't mine but I'd make Dean wear his boots all of the time if they were.

Comments

[starpixie16]

Another incredibly lovely chapter. Poor Alice getting tricked into working in the kissing booth! But at least some good came out of it: twenty bucks and Dean Winchester. ;D

“How come it feels like I’m stuck on a path that isn’t mine?”

I always love the way you write teen!Sam -- especially here, hinting at that angst that's ready to boil over someday and lead him to Stanford.

One day those eyes would be as hard as his papa’s, nothing left but hard little stones when the weather vane started to turn ...

That line was hauntingly perfect. It's so sad that Alice gets that inkling of the hardened man Dean will become.

[elanurel]

*twirls you*

Poor Alice getting tricked into working in the kissing booth! But at least some good came out of it: twenty bucks and Dean Winchester. ;D

I had to write a kissing booth into the story when the line "how much for some tongue" popped into my head. It was a moral imperative at that point.

I always love the way you write teen!Sam -- especially here, hinting at that angst that's ready to boil over someday and lead him to Stanford.

Oh, yeah. There's is angst a-plenty headed Sam's way, even if this is technically a Dean story. Well, I'm of the mind that you really can't separate the two - even if the focus is on one or the other. And I really am a sucker for teen!Sam.

That line was hauntingly perfect. It's so sad that Alice gets that inkling of the hardened man Dean will become.

One of the things I love about this part of the story is that Dean isn't that man yet and that Alice sees it. You did pick up one of my favorite themes in the story, too. ;-P

[elanurel]

Thank you! I was worried that it was getting too long and I did actually cut a scene. ;-)

But, yeah, they do have this problem with proximity.

[maisfeeka]

Oh, I've been waiting for this part! Wonderful as always.

And yes, Bear works well for Sam.

[elanurel]

Thank you so much for waiting! Between work and real life, it was a hard chapter to write. ;-P

And yes, Bear works well for Sam.

I thought so, too. Obviously. I was also tempted to lean towards Owl but Bear just seemed more appropriate. It's how I always describe him in stories.

[elanurel]

*is blushing*

AND YOU KEPT THE BUTTER KNIFE LINE! :D

It was an awesome line. And you'll get proper credit in the "Thank You" once the story is done. I didn't want to give away the knife until it happened in the story.

The knife turned out beautifully. I love these two. *snugs*

*twirls you*

I was a little worried when the knife conversation began meandering towards the serious side, unlike our earlier IMs about it, but that's the way it wanted to go. I'm thrilled, as always, that you liked it!

[elanurel]

I am, obviously...

[quirkies]

i don't have time for a proper comment right now, but just reading the first line: "Barbara Jean Benedict wasn’t making it to the fireworks display in one piece, and thinking of how completely this fades away, especially in light of getting to watch the fireworks between her winchester boys makes ME happy.
*is happy*
ok, off to bed!

[elanurel]

*twirls you*

I think that was my favorite scene in the whole chapter - there were a couple bittersweet moments in it but, on the whole, it was just the three of them getting a chance to be teenagers.