Healing
Title: Healing
Author: x_tired_crazy_x
Sumary: Joel's finally taken a step outside. The sun is bright, the birds are chirping. It's absolutely beautiful. So how come he still feels broken?
Sequel to Sedated.
Disclaimer: This is fiction.
Sedated
1
2
3-10
11
12
Progress.
"He's just made progress..."
I can hear the words echoing in my brain, my mother's dismissive voice repeating the phrase over and over again.
I can't believe she just showed up.
She knocked on the door using her knuckles. It was a quiet noise that successfully shook up the only ground I felt safe enough to walk on.
"Benjamin, where is he?"
I watch from my seat in the living room while Benji stands at the door blinking at the woman on the other side.
Two beats of silence...
"Oh let me in..."
I'm suddenly on my shaky feet, eyes wide.
"Joel, stop thinking about it," Benji advices me tiredly.
"You stop thinking about it," I shoot back at him, he sighs.
"I'm at least trying not to. You're just letting your mind go..."
"It's not my fault I can't help it," I whine rolling over in bed and away from him.
"Just don't let it bother you..."
"How is it not bothering you?"
"Mom..." Benji chokes out as he follows her. She walks around, her eyes scanning each room for me. She eyes everything hanging on the walls in distaste.
Then she finds me and her hazel eyes catch hold of my chocolate brown.
Fear.
I look away.
Sitting up, Benji sighs again, louder; a gust of air breezing over the back of my neck.
"Joel..." he breathes concerned.
I keep my back to him.
"My baby..." She smothers me in a hug and I feel my body tense up. My throat seems to close off and my stomach starts swirling. A dizzy blush creeps along my cheeks and the only noise I manage to make in protest is a small squeak.
She was going to send me away...
Mom, get off of him..." Benji pleads.
"Don't tell me how to treat my baby."
Mom really needs to let me go. It's imperative to my wellbeing that she lets me go. I know Benji can see that. She needs to listen to him. He actually knows me. She doesn't.
"You don't understand mom, get away!" Benji puts a hand on her wrist and pulls until I can tug myself away from her. She lets me free and I immediately lose my ground and feel my body start falling.
Benji's there to catch me before I plummet. I thank God he's always there.
"Sit up, please..." My brother requests of me. I don't want to. I say nothing.
"I know it's different for you, but I'm trying to help..."
"No you're not."
"Benjamin, how dare you lay a hand on me?" Mom catches her balance giving Benji an angry glare.
"Let me hold my son," she demands.
"He doesn't want you to."
"I heard he's all better. You can't keep him away, I’ve waited too damn long... Let me hold my son," she repeats.
"He's just fine..." Benji says in my defense.
"Then why can't I hold him?"
I have my arms around Benji's neck, his arms coming up from under my pits and gently rubbing my upper back. I try to let my body relax, but it's hard.
"Do you have any clue how it feels to be talked about in the same room like you're not even there?"
"So he's not better? He's just made progress." She crosses her arms over her chest and stares at me. The way she says the words, dissatisfaction in her voice. I can feel her eyes burning my skin and smell her cheap knock-off perfume. No one answers her and the silence eats me up.
"Well then there's no point for me to be here, so I'll just leave." Indifferent. That’s the only word to describe her tone.
Soundlessly, she leaves the room. Once I hear the front door click shut my, body collapses to the ground and even when I hit the floor I feel myself keep falling.
Out of Benji's reach. Out of his comprehension.
"No Joel, I don't, but I-"
"Exactly Benji! You can't help me with things you don't understand... You have no idea, it's something I have to deal with and you can't do anything about."
I twist my body to look him in the eyes. He collects himself for a moment.
"Well maybe I should just leave. Would it make it better?"
A knife through my heart couldn't compare to the pain of hearing those words. Slowly, I sit up to face him full on. I see tears in his eyes and for some reason that makes me feel better.
"No Benji, never say that. Stay. just..." I swallow. "Sometimes, I just need you to listen instead of give me your advice. If you want to help me, just hear me out. Comfort me. Be there for me."
Benji tilts his head and sniffs.
"I can do that..." he says and it makes me smile.
-
Review. Tell me what you think. I've been toying with the idea of doing a chapter in Benji's P.O.V. So if you're interested, let me know. As always, ♥ Jess.
Author: x_tired_crazy_x
Sumary: Joel's finally taken a step outside. The sun is bright, the birds are chirping. It's absolutely beautiful. So how come he still feels broken?
Sequel to Sedated.
Disclaimer: This is fiction.
Sedated
1
2
3-10
11
12
Progress.
"He's just made progress..."
I can hear the words echoing in my brain, my mother's dismissive voice repeating the phrase over and over again.
I can't believe she just showed up.
She knocked on the door using her knuckles. It was a quiet noise that successfully shook up the only ground I felt safe enough to walk on.
"Benjamin, where is he?"
I watch from my seat in the living room while Benji stands at the door blinking at the woman on the other side.
Two beats of silence...
"Oh let me in..."
I'm suddenly on my shaky feet, eyes wide.
"Joel, stop thinking about it," Benji advices me tiredly.
"You stop thinking about it," I shoot back at him, he sighs.
"I'm at least trying not to. You're just letting your mind go..."
"It's not my fault I can't help it," I whine rolling over in bed and away from him.
"Just don't let it bother you..."
"How is it not bothering you?"
"Mom..." Benji chokes out as he follows her. She walks around, her eyes scanning each room for me. She eyes everything hanging on the walls in distaste.
Then she finds me and her hazel eyes catch hold of my chocolate brown.
Fear.
I look away.
Sitting up, Benji sighs again, louder; a gust of air breezing over the back of my neck.
"Joel..." he breathes concerned.
I keep my back to him.
"My baby..." She smothers me in a hug and I feel my body tense up. My throat seems to close off and my stomach starts swirling. A dizzy blush creeps along my cheeks and the only noise I manage to make in protest is a small squeak.
She was going to send me away...
Mom, get off of him..." Benji pleads.
"Don't tell me how to treat my baby."
Mom really needs to let me go. It's imperative to my wellbeing that she lets me go. I know Benji can see that. She needs to listen to him. He actually knows me. She doesn't.
"You don't understand mom, get away!" Benji puts a hand on her wrist and pulls until I can tug myself away from her. She lets me free and I immediately lose my ground and feel my body start falling.
Benji's there to catch me before I plummet. I thank God he's always there.
"Sit up, please..." My brother requests of me. I don't want to. I say nothing.
"I know it's different for you, but I'm trying to help..."
"No you're not."
"Benjamin, how dare you lay a hand on me?" Mom catches her balance giving Benji an angry glare.
"Let me hold my son," she demands.
"He doesn't want you to."
"I heard he's all better. You can't keep him away, I’ve waited too damn long... Let me hold my son," she repeats.
"He's just fine..." Benji says in my defense.
"Then why can't I hold him?"
I have my arms around Benji's neck, his arms coming up from under my pits and gently rubbing my upper back. I try to let my body relax, but it's hard.
"Do you have any clue how it feels to be talked about in the same room like you're not even there?"
"So he's not better? He's just made progress." She crosses her arms over her chest and stares at me. The way she says the words, dissatisfaction in her voice. I can feel her eyes burning my skin and smell her cheap knock-off perfume. No one answers her and the silence eats me up.
"Well then there's no point for me to be here, so I'll just leave." Indifferent. That’s the only word to describe her tone.
Soundlessly, she leaves the room. Once I hear the front door click shut my, body collapses to the ground and even when I hit the floor I feel myself keep falling.
Out of Benji's reach. Out of his comprehension.
"No Joel, I don't, but I-"
"Exactly Benji! You can't help me with things you don't understand... You have no idea, it's something I have to deal with and you can't do anything about."
I twist my body to look him in the eyes. He collects himself for a moment.
"Well maybe I should just leave. Would it make it better?"
A knife through my heart couldn't compare to the pain of hearing those words. Slowly, I sit up to face him full on. I see tears in his eyes and for some reason that makes me feel better.
"No Benji, never say that. Stay. just..." I swallow. "Sometimes, I just need you to listen instead of give me your advice. If you want to help me, just hear me out. Comfort me. Be there for me."
Benji tilts his head and sniffs.
"I can do that..." he says and it makes me smile.
-
Review. Tell me what you think. I've been toying with the idea of doing a chapter in Benji's P.O.V. So if you're interested, let me know. As always, ♥ Jess.