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[xarificus]

i have heard the story jeremy, and i wasn't trying to be bitchy. I was genuinely cut when you didn't say hi to me the other night. The thing is i did consider us friends. The only reason i never came out to ur place all the time was beacause of all the drugs being consumed there.That and i couldn't escape the feeling that u felt used when every1

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[devil_in_heaven]

the thing i've learned most this past year, xar, is that i don't hold grudges against people for things that they do, provided i lash out at them and don't hold in what i need to say at the time. and my world is populated by such an odd mix of people, especially now, that i'd be a blind fool if i thought i could always predict the future.

a prime example of this, i said last nite to andrew: "if someone had told me at the start of 2004 that by year's end, everyone i know in this house (a lot of people) would be completely gone, and that andrew would not only be my primary friend, but also the catalyst for the biggest transformation of my life so far, i would have denied that it was possible

[xarificus]

i know what u mean... about the crystal in particular. I'v seen what it does, steal the light away from the most beautiful people, leaving nothing but an empty shell in mockery of what was once a human being. i dont think alot of people realise that theres a stage to drug taking you can't come back from. From what you've told me i gather your flirtation with the thin line of psychosis has brought about an abrupt end to all your usage. I wish it was the same with me... I'm just worried i have to get worse before i can get better. I'v been smoking heaps lately... the crystal i'v backed off from entirely after i last saw nicki.
Again I'm sorry for lashing out at you, and thank you for hearing me out. If theres anything you need, if you ever wanna talk just call me.
Oh n I'm having a BBQ at my place on the 23rd, its alcohol only so if u feel like coming just let me know:)
xXx