So when you find out the truth some times you aren't exactly how to accept it. Do you embrace it or reject it. I tend to do both. The truth really does hurt. But what part of it. Confirmation of what you already knew. Or the fact that you were right about everything and your instincts are good. Either way Im still okay with it. This decision I have ( Read more... )

Today is one of those days were in my just soooo aggravated. I haven't slept well at all. Like 4 hours of sleep at the most. Its starting to get to me.

I dont even feel like talking.

theend

So no more sad updates. Im done being sad. I think just starting my period had my hormones all messed up. I was a wreck. But now its gone Im happy as can be. Weird huh ( Read more... )

Its so hard to be happy at a time like now. I miss him so much. I can't sleep. He's all I think about. I worried if I will make it to heaven to see him again. I've been trying to be on my best behavior. Im so sick of crying. I want to be happy. I want to feel alive. Instead im stuck. Im in this hole. I can't dig myself out. I worry so much about ( Read more... )

Every day I go to the hospital. It get's harder everyday. To see suck pain and weakness in his eyes. A boy who is losing hope. Prayers that are going unanswered. If this is Gods will. THen take him. Release him of his pain. Otherwise SEND US A FUCKING MIRACLE!!!! I can't fake it anymore. I'm a wreck. Times keep getting harder and harder. Give the ( Read more... )

SO I was making some teriaki tofu today and I was reading the label in the teriaki sauce and its made with wine. Im a moron and read it right as soon as I was done. I was actually putting it in my mouth and stopped to read. weird. But I wasted a ton of tofu. Not even sure if It was alcoholic wine like im thinking it was. either way I didn't want ( Read more... )

go figure. I guess thats what i get for doing this. I learned my lesson. Suppose its just another day in the life of me. Once again I am put back in my place. Knowing that what ever I feel is nothing. I must be crazy. I think about to that point.

I learned today that I have black people in my blood line......interesting.

To think about...

• Just when you think maybe there was a chance, it turns around and smacks your ass.
• Im getting good at this. To bad it isn't a game, cause I would be the champ.
• I wish I didn't do that.
• I wish that there were more months.
• I wish the dogs breath didn't smell so much.

SO i hung out with amanda yesterday. it was alot of fun. I have missed her. I really need to not work so much so i can have a life with friends. Amanda makes me feel like im in highschool again! its great. Ive felt so old lately. I have things I always have to do and im constantly working. Its nice to just say fuck the world have just be in the ( Read more... )

An update ( Read more... )