i sit here, in front of my newly formatted computer. i have to admit im not thinking too clearly. to be quite honest, i havent thought at all. ive been going. i ran away. im pretty scared, because i know im alone for real this time. i dont know if im going to be ok. i didnt lie, to you certain people, when i told you im going to fucking kill myself ( Read more... )

today is slow. i woke up at nine, ate breakfast, took a shower. the day had all the makings of a nice, healthy start early in the morning. then i fell asleep. so im waiting for my clothes to dry, and then im going to go. im just going to drive around aimlessly. for no reason. it'll be nice. i hate having a direction now. fuck. i hate it when i ( Read more... )

daaaaamn. it's been a long day. i went to my dentist appointment and the nurse lady was overly friendly and i hated every second of it. i thought the dentist guy was going to rape me. so, i got out of there and headed to katies. fun times. home, colly's, saw newt, back home. was supposed to hang out with derrek. not going to happen. on my part, so ( Read more... )

daaamn. everything has been crazy as all hell lately. i go home to sleep, then im gone again. so. tomorrow night my dad will be gone. lets have a fucking party. really. come over. everyone. we can all fuck.

i gotta go get stuff done. then i'll be back. call my cell if you need me.

im out.

mer. im never ever going to be warm again. i slept on the floor in nates computer rooms. im not trusted sleeping with zack. we might dooooo stuff. because we do that in our sleep, not while we're watching movies. did you hear that, nates mom? DID YOU?!?! haha. yeah. im done ( Read more... )

yeah. well, this december 25 i got a cell phone. 670-0175. add me, or something.

im still sick. im still an idiot. nothing has changed, not for two goddamn years. you owe me a fucking teddy bear. you owe me your fucking soul. i am not insignificant, dont ever act like i am nothing to you in front of anyone ever fucking again. you're about to be

all my plans are screwing up forever.

WONK

um. yeah. i'm really fucking paranoid right now. fuuuck. this is screwing up everything. maybe it shouldnt happen. its already on on my mind 24/7 for no fucking reason. uh, it should go faster? or not at all? what the hell? im going fucking nuts. this is what happens. im just so bad at this. gahdamit. im going to shoot myself now. uh. bye, i died.

So much for breathing, my cloud nine fell from grace. Loss of everything, where is my identity?. If I could only find what is left me. So much for letting go when you have nothing left to hold. The words that slid off your tongue, my everything. Your nothing, I know that I don't mean much to you but you mean the world to me. Devotion, an undying ( Read more... )