A Very Surreal Night

[xchinadesadex]

last night i went through the last of my boxes that i had stored up in my stepfathers attic since july 2001 when pete and i got kicked out of our apartment and lived in the caddy in philly.all the boxes so far have had empty bags and needle wrappers in them.we were strung out and being kicked out of our apartment for not paying rent for 5 months.we

Comments

[violentflame]

Wow, that's great that you can recognize the delicate balance of your situation and the ease with which you could relapse, Getting on the AA phone list would be a great idea. I never had good luck with AA personally, NA was always better suited for me as the AA folks never seemed to understand what it was like to be a dug addict and I could never understand the alcoholic thing (I never was a drinker).

Right before I got pregnant I was wrestling a nasty crystal meth addiction. I did a lot of other drugs as well but that was the one I was physically dependent on. When we decided to keep the baby I gave the last of all of my many types of drugs to various friends. But I kept the vial that my meth was stored in. It still sits in my medicine cabinet and for the life of me I cannot figure out why. Maybe it's a daily reminder of where I came from and how far I've come. Maybe it's there so that every day I can torture myself with it. I don't know, but I can't part with it even though I know that I will never ever touch meth again.

[ccatsunfl0wer]

"pete wanted to make sure it woulnt happen,he wanted to be there if it did to make sure i didnt relapse,he wanted to be there if i did use it so he could too."

Oh sweetie, we could be the same person, in the same relationship lol. My husband is also a recovering cocaine addict, and I have been doing it behind his back for about 18 months. I recently spilled the beans during my lastest plight for help, and now his reactions are driving me bonkers. I seriously think he is jealous that I kept using, that I did it without him. I honestly think that is what bothers him the most. Not my OD, not the money shit, but the fact that I did it and he didn't. Fucked up shit, drugs are, eh?

I'm glad you didn't find any bags, because one is too many and a thousand is never enough.

[xchinadesadex]

i was nervous but i knew i wouldnt find anything.back then i was constantly tearing through the apt trying to find bags that i mightve lost track of.the empties just got thrown in the boxes because they were all over the place and we were just chucking everything in the boxes because we had our landlady standing over us screaming because she finally saw how we destroyed the apt with holes in the walls and cigarette burns ALL over all the carpet from nodding and dropping cigarettes while we walked around nodding,we had our 81 caddy that we were going to live in and we were getting sick because it had been at least 12 hours since our last shots.we just wanted to get the hell out of there so we could get to the city!

[axcess_denied]

So proud of you both! I'm struggling w/my alcohol addiction
still! Two years is awesome!

I need to get back to AA myself. I'm so sick of this on again/off again shit. Take care.