Here I am now 22 years old and I am still able to log onto my LJ. I honestly thought that this site would only last a few years and come to its demise... I can't believe it is still here and that I am still capable of running back to it. And I do. Very willingly. Its a strange comfort - sort of like my personal vault of secrets ( Read more... )

I am so tired of things always happening ( Read more... )

I've read flowers in the attic ( Read more... )

I've been single for a while ( Read more... )

Lately I feel so anxious and panicy... are my anxiety symptoms coming back to torment me and cause me to fuck up any hopes I have in my life? I'm so tired of being the sick one... the ill one... the mental one... Always on anti-biotics... pills... needing therapy. It only messes you up more... I dont think anyone can actually help me ( Read more... )

My Dear Rylan... it is because of her that I now find a reason to write again in my journal ( Read more... )

Bound to your side and trapped in silence
  Just a posession
    Is the sex or only violence
      That feeds your obsession.
You send me to a broken state
  Where I can take the pain
    Just long enough
      That I am numb
        That I just disappear.
So go on and fight me
  Go on and scare me to death
    Tell me I asked for it
      Tell me I'll never ( Read more... )

I have been talking with TH on and off lately. Not a whole lot. Maybe I'm avoiding him. He still is my best friend and he's still the person I wanna be able to talk to but I'm too scared to. I still care about him despite his mistakes and flaws. I know I may not be in love with him anymore but I still love him. He's not my Baby anymore and someone ( Read more... )

Tragically I feel dormant in a place where I should feel so goddamn alive. I want to rape everyone of their happiness and swallow it whole like everyone says I can't. Well FUCK YOU. Why can't I be like all of you? Why can't you let me be me?
Breathe.
Fuck it.
Live.
Live in me.
I hate me.
Hide me.
Hide me from myself.
Burn.

The End.

( Read more... )