THE BEST TRUE HEADLINES OF 2004!
CRACK FOUND ON GOVERNOR'S DAUGHTER
[Imagine that!]
SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERTS SAY
[No! Really?!]
IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANUS?
[Not if I wipe thoroughly!]
PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER
[What a guy]!
MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH
[Good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]
JUVENILE
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