i did something over summer that i still really hate myself for, and so does lauren. i don't believe i ever really told her how sorry i am for what i did. i do feel awful, and i wish she was reading this, because even though we've been through a lot of shit, i do miss her. she's a good person, we just never really agreed on much. i think now if ( Read more... )

What's wrong with me. Seriously?
-John Cusak in "High Fidelity"i've replayed that line over and over in my head, and i know it sounds very pesimistic, but i totally relate to it. i sit there alone, sad, rejected, hurt, and lost, or some combination of those, and instead of looking at myself in the mirror and smiling, i break down crying. then, ( Read more... )

well, i haven't written here in a while..so here's what been going on ( Read more... )

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well, i'm having a neutral day. you know those kind of days when something good happens, then something bad, then back and fowarth? so it just comes out to be neutral ( Read more... )

i wish i was special,
i wish i was loved,
i wish i was remembered,
i wish i was seen,
i wish i was alive,
i wish i was dead,
i wish i was somewhere else,
i wish i was here,
i wish i you could understand,
i wish the same for myself.

If I were a month I would be: february ( Read more... )

ok last night was youth group. i have never felt the touch of God so deeply in my heart. He told me to change my life around to follow him, and that's exactly what i'm going to do. no more drugs or sleeping around. i was in tears, but it got worse, when mr. g took me to the side, and told me that someone one strand told their parents that i was ( Read more... )

a few months ago, i wrote a list on my lj of people i missed and wanted to see again. here they are, and here's how i feel now ( Read more... )

i'm fucking failing my fucking history class. mr garcia is being so lame and gay that i'm ready to just fucking shoot his dumb ass!!!! oh well. i'll just have to make up the shitty, pointless class in summer school or something. there goes my freedom. piece of shit!!!!!!! too tired..have to work tonight. don't want to. oh well, i need money ( Read more... )