I've decided not to call my dad today. He's ( Read more... )

idiot reads name plate:

Idiot- "So you're name is Heather?"
me   -"Yes sir."
Idiot- "Heather are you married?"
me   -"No sir I'm not."
Idiot- "Well do you fool around?"
me   - "Umm sir I do not."
Idiot-  "Well will you lay there while I fool around?"

Wow...Yes please? Please 40 year old man covered in dirt
smelling like a brewery/tabacco plant...PLEASE ( Read more... )

Today, my co-worker/friend's husband commited
suicide. Apparently he'd tried it before but
his 14 year old somehow cut him down from the
rope he'd hung himself with and saved his life.

I can't imagine finding someone I love
hanging from a rope in some dirty old shed.

I got two really bad haircuts today ( Read more... )

Dear Beach,

I love you. Do you love me?
Please check yes or no.

yes no
[ ] [ ]

ps-I've decided to spend every
waking moment [that i'm not
working] laying on top of you and
swimming in that huge wet thing
beside you. HOPE YOU DON'T MIND!

pPs-You can check [yes] now. kthks!

<3
Heather L.

It's 12am on saturday and frankies has me so ( Read more... )

Today isn't as bad as yesterday. And ( Read more... )

I honestly didn't smile once today.

...and tomorrow doesn't look too promising.

EDIT: [i take that back-
LAVERNE! KIRKLAND! PASTOR! BIG-PIMPIN-PINK-GATORS!
jehodge, that shit was funny.]

-heaby mcgee

So I started my new job at Frankie's. My hobbies now include work ( Read more... )

My mother's bird talks more than I do ( Read more... )