what to say, what to say... how to feel... what do I feel? Do I know, is it real? Why do I contradict myself when the lies keep flowing in? I have a solution ( Read more... )

I walked in the darkened house from a long day, not to mention a long night. I had been out with some friends at a coffee shop downtown and even though all we did was chat, write, and sing along to some freestylist guitarist... I was threw... exhausted... drained... so on and so on. 3:10am... i walked downstair to my room and dropped my things on ( Read more... )

*Senses Failing ( Read more... )

man ive missed so much. life is too short no matter how long its held out and no matter how much we do. Im listening to ginny owens song "you call me beautiful" and im intransed. but its making me want to cry... i have no idea why or whats it about the song that makes me repeating it... but i want to start to live. im tired of it always being about ( Read more... )

When you reach for the moon but catch a star, what is it that you are supposed to do with it? For when youve fallen but gained more than youve lost... isnt it better to give thanks, than to wish and hope life will work out better next time? A rainbow has a promise written across it... God's promise to us that He will never flood the earth again. ( Read more... )

Courage... to be couragous. That is my goal for now. Thnx to a special someone named Heather... who delt with my confustion and stupid questions... I go slapped in the face and saw what was what. So to say a lot in little words... I am doing much better. but that could be because I just had a shower too... I love being clean. Its refreshing. anyway ( Read more... )

now that the day is going a bit better... and my anger is on a down side right now... I would just like to say, Thank you God that im not dead. And if youve been keeping up with my last few entries... Id just like to say, no i didnt cut myself. And I feel like... NO, I know, that God pulled me through this morning with a victory party that is still ( Read more... )

I havent been this wrestless in a long time. I used to not be able to sleep good at all. But then it turned out that the habit was being reinforced by my own will power. (I was making myself stay awake). so i was giving myself insamnia. But all the sudden for the last few weeks... I was sleeping every chance that I got. I had a busy sceduel but ( Read more... )

I have really been thinking a lot lately. way too much, more than i ever do. which is really kind of scary cuz most of the time when im not talking, i am thinking deep and whatever. But i have a feeling there is an attack forming in my mind. and right now satan is winning. I have been doing some things that i know are way, way not going to help me ( Read more... )

I woke up this morning as if I got 50 hours of sleep. I was wide awake and ready for the day. And I am so so ssssssoooooo happy with myself. God is so awesome and I love Him more than anything. Just thought Id let Him know that again in writing rather than just in my thoughts and praises. Im working all day from 9-7... almost alday. close enough ( Read more... )