when did she stop wanting him around? how could he make such stupid choices? listening to those inner voices. alcohol had alot to do with it; probably wouldnt of went through with it. if he had an eraser he would erase the days, burn that calender page by page. the months never felt so cold. awol one never felt so old

yearning.

It's my birthday tomorrow. Fuck my stupid birthday.

I'll be sitting around by myself being wasted all day, since there's nnothing to do and apparently my sister is taking the car all day.

oh and it will be raining

oh and my mom won't even allow me to choose where we go to eat; she's chosing.

(end self-centered post)

there is no such thing as foreign countries.

I had such a horrible night and there is maybe one or two things that would make me cheer up, yet none of those will happen tonight. somebody set my bed on fire. all the ambitions I desire..

FUCK.

tornadoes.

in search of guidance but God is dead.

young at heart.

dangerously dangerous complexities. I always come up short. Effort does not matter.

im sorry. im here, though.

father thank you for teaching me how to articulate. thank you for teaching me how to talk down to the condescending clowns who think they're great.

no resolution. fuck this school. take your fucking neutral stance. im sick of being fucking harassed by cops.

i peel back the lips, rip out my hair and nails, pull my skin off in strips, and shatter my teeth...
split the eyes one by one, cut off the fingers, remove the bones, swallow the heart and crush the lungs,
now burn whats left of me and say my name,

i'll love you forever

I miss out on everything.

fuck work. fuck being sick again. fuck being in this room alone. :(