i know you've seen my journal. so you know where i'm located. search for this again. you see the picture above.... you'll never.. never know her like that.

should i come back to lj?

you know. sometimes. just sometimes. i miss the way things were. who's complaining?

the absence of love....

my other journal is f'd i don't know why. i can't log in to it but, i can log in to this one? hmmm?

why not. just because. is anyone out there who still remembers who i used to be. will i change back this old journal again? it holds my entire existence.

so more emails of saying i lost my password for this journal. i don't know what it is. someone looking for it or lj just likes to email me. but the pass word is "loveless" have at it. post away and do what you want.

i have recived five emails from lj last night saying i requested my password. well i haven't logged into this journal until today. who is trying to get my password? you want it? i'll just give it to you all you have to do is ask.

"i don't want to try to be loved anymore. i don't want to be scared anymore or to kill anymore. i don't want to kill anymore. i don't want a reason to kill myself; i need a reason not to... there isn't one"

i don't find guidance in this "journal" i don't feel better in writing things down that i feel. it hurts me, it hurts other people. i don't believe in writing anymore. i don't believe in anything anymore. am i losing all hope? but what is holding on to me? it seems to have already let go. "but i still have hope, i'm going to find my way home" phil ( Read more... )