he journals too! it’s so adorable the stuff we do. today i took him to joes class and when we left he agreed that joe was really good. it’s hard to explain but i told him i love the classes and joe is the best. like how he reminds you and you feel all elevated after leaving the class. i hope we can go more together. he told me that he was ( Read more... )

Hi life here we go again.  I'm sitting in Laguna beach at Jesse's.  He has this little cooking area next to him and it looks off to the road and canyon.  It's crazy how being in different places just gives you different feels.  There's a lot of green, a lot of outdoors.  It feels like Hawaii again.  I didn't think I would feel this way again.   ( Read more... )

i told him everything. he knows about ED, he knows about webb, he knows about the cancer. he accepts me! we did a breathwork session yesterday. when i’m around him, im not always breaking him down and trying to figure him out. it’s such a good sign. i call us jesse and christine, it’s never me first. it’s so different. it’s the me i wanted, ( Read more... )

so i texted jesse and told him about webb and he doesn’t seem happy. he said it doesn’t matter and he didn’t think we should share but i feel something weird. i’ll wait for him to text me but im a little worried. maybe he is mad that he did all that stuff for valentines and then i text him the day after. he said he felt that stuff didn’t matter ( Read more... )

i’m feeling a little funky today questioning everything. i know it’s just feeling but really feeling like i failed with guys. it shouldn’t be so easy just to leave and it wasn’t. people say like good for you, but really why did i pick a bad guy? i guess shaun’s not bad i mean but i pick the wrong person for me. i don’t like shaun anymore but ( Read more... )

this weekend Jesse and I went to Yosemite and goddamn I haven’t felt this way since Owl. Jesse is his own man, but this FEELING. He’s a stable advanced version of that guy. He’s outdoors, masculine, sensitive, sweet, romantic, secure. He’s open about his feelings and we can just all for hours. I don’t feel as if he’s judgy. we hiked, stopped ( Read more... )

His soul is so nice. Around him i feel really taken care of but aesthetically we don’t match. it doesn’t matter though. In person he seems so attractive but that’s me too ( Read more... )

our boy is packin. physically he isn’t really my type but the exact type of attraction that grows. he remembers everything I like and gives me flowers, buys the steak I like, remembers food I like such as my favorite cut. I told him i really liked the steak jalapeños and evoo and he did it over the weekend ( Read more... )

Hi. I’m happier now and there’s more to write about. This weekend is the weekend I see Jesse! I’m going into a new area. I feel extremely confident and I don’t give a shit. With Shaun I was embarrassed somehow. He was always clumsy and awkward. Jesse at first seemed kinda goofy but he’s really confident. It was surprising. He looks into my ( Read more... )

i didn’t think i’d like him this much ( Read more... )