it's been over 24 hours without rest and my lips turned blue in the mirror last night (this morning?) question marks rain down upon Golgotha and the Mysterious Stranger. rubbing knuckles against the purple pants won't assauge this restlessness.

i'd planned on abandoning this gawddamned thing but for some reason i can't figure out i've returned to it, over a year later, if for nothing else to vent. i rationalize it in my head that this livejournal thing isn't going to crash anytime soon, whearas my computer could, i could smash a disc, my apartment could catch on fire, and handwriting a ( Read more... )

to the christian hooker folk singer relentlessly singing folk-songs in my head:

SHUT UP!

I'M JUST TRYING TO GET SOME FECKING FLIPPITY SLEEP!

i don't think the quills like me.  they are perforating my brain like so many cheap drugstore-bought pens.  with that said, i want some soup and my blankies.

so...yes, i have not updated for sometime..not much to write about...other than that i have failed once again. light a cigarette, take a puff, and laugh you degraded fuckers. take pleasure in my misfortune. so my past relationship didn't work out. i'm back in school again and feel overwhelmed. all i have to say is ( Read more... )

people are talking shit about me. i find it hilarious. since i did nothing. i wanted to make music and be a vocalist. and said person has to filter her entries so i can't see them. cowardice. i thought she wanted to fuck with me. but it is ok. i am done with this "peoria scene" high school bull shit. Nathan told me from the beginning NOT to ( Read more... )

well well now...i have not updated for awhile...i have been preoccupied...by a man i met by the name of Jerrod. although the break between Nathan and i was not exactly clean, i think eventually we will be able to be friends. he has my back and i have his. so those who want to fuck with me, don't even think about it. cause you will be sorry. ( Read more... )

(Untitled ( Read more... )

well dammit. things just aren't working out for me in any way whatsoever. i can't have the men or women i want in real life, and i can't have Crispin Glover either. he's got that damned penthouse pet. even the pictures and his movies aren't doing much for me anymore either, cause i know i'll never have him. i need some new masturbatory material ( Read more... )

why does livejournal all of a sudden feel the need to underline certain words in baby-shit brown? it really pisses me off. makes me want to vomit even. no, way more then that. it makes me want to kill myself. goodbye cruel world! i'm going to O'D on Flintstones vitamins! bye bye you fucking cunts!

hmmm...went to wackyland today. don't remember much. the kind counselor kept asking me a bunch of questions about how i could take better care of myself. i remember staring at my plastic cup of ice water and responding with "my hair is falling out." he replied "you're really not here anymore, are you? i'm really worried about you." then i ( Read more... )