A fire, a Blazer...some wood...and I think Mary and Jim were there too....russianrou13tteAugust 29 2008, 15:58:59 UTC
When I read this I get a knot in my chest, throat, and stomach, like when you hear terrible news. I guess its my turn to shed tears over this. I don't understand how I could be so cold. I know exactly how you feel in this post, its a dark horrible place, and its funny because I always wanted to take you out of it. I always wanted to be the hand that reached down and pulled you out of whatever bad situation you were in...I just don't know Laura....I have tried to be strong and act like nothings the matter, but there are times during the day where I can't push you out of my head. Memories come in muted flashbacks, its like watching a silent film, seeing you laugh in the woods as we sat in my Blazer all alone for hours. It was something great...far greater than I have ever known....I'll be honest it scared the shit out of me. You were the one thing I longed for, for over a quarter of my life, the one thing above all else that I wanted. It would be worse than winning the lotto and hitting jackpot at a casino, then gambling it all away. I
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