1. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's
2. The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.
3. I live in my own little world but it's OK, everyone knows me here.
4. I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it.
I said, 'Thyroid problem?'
5. I don't do drugs 'cause I find I get the same
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