I miss the pipeband life.

I really do. The weekly practices at the empty english school. Practice clothes, changing in the bathroom, water bottles, loud practice music and in the company of other dancers. Seeing other band members every week, talking repertoire, the sound of bagpipes tuning up, dancing to them live on the wooden-floored big room. 
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Yesterday I think I had a mild panic attack. Mild because I'm not really sure what would be a full fledge one. But I thought I was gonna die. Again.

It had been a while since last time. A few years. And last time I just flipped because I had an arm pain. Well, no. There was the time last year I thought I was going to die because of a periodontic ( Read more... )

next year, my whole relationship with food is gonna have to change.

this year, i started to change my relationship with money. And i did so much progress.

next year, it's gonna be food.

i'm done pumping a lot of food into my body and not even enjoying it, cause I just feel guilty. Either over-buying or over-eating, i don't wanna do it anymore.

I'll ( Read more... )

Man, this hurts. I didn't knew it would hurt, I didn't knew it could still hurt.

And at the same time, I just KNOW this is all so far behind me, that I'm not that person. And that's not my life. And it brings me some peace to realize that, and to know that SO MUCH has passed since, and I endured so many other things, so many different hardships, ( Read more... )

You are all the parts of you. All the yous you have ever been, even the ones you are not anymore.

I'll always be the girl who was in love with Rodrigo. I'll always be the person who wrote Gundam Wing fanfics. I'll always be the fifth grader reading Jules Verne during recess, and the heavy-hearted girl who listened to Sunrise Avenue and Ryan Cabrera ( Read more... )

Honestamente, a falta de respeito é simplesmente ridícula. Eu desisto. Eu não sei mais o que fazer. Elas não percebem. Elas não notam. Não faz a menor diferença para elas. Eu falo, e eu falo, e é como se eu estivesse ficando quieta. O que é ainda mais frustrante do que se eu estivesse realmente ficando quieta.

Que é o que eu acho que eu vou fazer ( Read more... )

Você começa a carregar as pequenas coisas como uma medalha. Os momentos, as pessoas. Porque você nunca sabe quando você vai precisar. De uma luz, de uma lembrança que a vida vale a pena ser vivida.

Desde que comecei a me recuperar, é a isso que eu me apego. Nos momentos mais difíceis, eu tinha uma lista mental de pessoas que eu sabia que me amavam ( Read more... )

I think the most frustrating part is that whenever I have a problem, a managerial problem, I have no one to turn to. One person is the constant source of my problems and crisis. One has a lot on her plate and will just put warm blankets over it. And one is my own mother, which makes it so much worse, whose only response is that I should look for a ( Read more... )

My life is just not a standard adventure. My adventure is different from the one my parents lived, from the one my siblings live, from the one regular hollywood movies and cultural society believes is ideal. I have a crooked one.

I make waaay to many mistakes, and I take waaay to many wrong turns. All the time. And in the days my mental health ( Read more... )

I have been stolling. For the last twelve years, I feel like I was stolling ( Read more... )