i wish i could see what everyone else does.

here i am, face to the floor, in a puddle of my own blood.

this must only be the work of mine own hands.

( worth 99 million bucks )

in a place like this, it is so easy to feel like no one cares.

there are so many things i would do if i could save this world.

if only..

i have become way too nocturnal for my own good.

this you can tell when you see the sun come up a few days in a row.

oh well. things are good.

i am smiling.

my first love will not be my only love.
i won't be held back any longer.

w.o.a.h. i am finally gonna wash my car. maybe.

...

i can't really think of anything worth saying.

ok.

yeah.

bye.

like, goodbye.

oh yeah.

and happy birthday sean.

said goodbye to caitlin this morning, for real. it was really sad. it is weird to think that she won't be here anymore. and soon more people will be leaving. i guess it just means this whole growing up business is real this time.

i can't quite figure out why people think it is ok to blame their actions on being drunk. it is ridiculous. i remember the first time i heard this excuse was when joey kissed michelle smith. it baffles me as to why people think this is acceptable.

( a trip to the store )

random fact: 75% of people wash from top to bottom in the shower.

ummm, yes. bottom to top is just pointless, you might as well not take a shower.

party tonight, umm, meh.

( ok matt, i promised )

it's strange how i keep waking up with no recollection of falling asleep or what i was doing before i did.

i think i am in desperate need of rest. yet right now, i find myself completely unable to sleep.

i wish i could quit thinking about everything. i wish life wasn't so confusing.

grrrrrr.

despite my crankiness, i am quite content.