silly me...missing my journal. even though i am so computer inept i have no hope of ever making this pretty. made my first-ever amateur drug deal, making myself as cool as the movies!! spring break is a bit overrated: all it is doing is reminding me how lethargic and pointless i get when it's warm outside. goodbye live journal, just wanted to keep ( Read more... )

i would just love to brush my teeth.
alcohol, vomit, smoke and chinese are just too disgusting when all thrown together.

someone came and took all the roses away...the roses lying, trashed, on my pale pink carpet, setting it all amiss. winter is a dangerous time. the air is too intoxicating, my skin is turning beautiful shades of purples and blues ( Read more... )

when will i accept that i can hurt too??? blah blah blah. bullshit. i indulge in my hurting so much it's fucking SICKKKKKKKKK. overdramatic and manipulative. and a mess. a sick little mess....not pretty. i forgot how nice it is to bleed everything away. but i'm so over it. and over myself. i;m done feeling. i;m done numbing. i'll just sleep. i saw ( Read more... )

i'm waiting for you. where are you? what is this? is it true or am i truly distracting myself.....i don't know.

still reeling from my weekend...will be for a long time. learned how to feel uncomfortable elegantly last nite ( at a fucking kegger in lafayette!) followed by some sort of pretty ghost that could have ruined my night. luckily i got chemicalized (haha-nice word). and let my head fall wherever it could be at rest.
Oh what a night....

100 variations on sadness.......tracing your outline in a mirror and knowing that you're quite possibly wasting away; being told that in actuality you're not beautiful...just pretentious; folding all your poems in quarter-folds, knowing they shouldn't be read ( who needs to be blanketed by misery?); drowning in your own unfulfilled obsessions and ( Read more... )

so...i had to reconstruct my evening from the ground up. bleeding for show was not an option. visited all my "spots" in the graveyard. made good, but spiteful, conversation with a frog i found. called my alison and realized why it makes me sick to be without her ( Read more... )

hysteria-((it must have a definition or why else would it so accurately describe ME right now?))

HAPPENINGS_
I made a heading....but no happenings either.
i'm just bored of all this journaling when there is nothing on top of nothing to write!
SOMEONE PROMPT ME!

at home. for the duration of the day. sicker than i ever imagined.
once my mind gets semi-better my body falls apart. spent yesterday whining about my illness and avoiding as many of them as i could (them being germs......yeah...not really). spun circles in ballet class and felt a tinge of life pulling at my shoes.
keep pulling....