12:17 in the afternoon. i just woke up to the beeping on my watch. its new and im not used to the chunkiness of it on my wrist. and i took off all my rings yesterday, my hands are empty and i dont know how i feel about it. why i just dont put them all back on i dont know. im listening to the new dashboard on mtv.com. i hate mtv. not for the reasons ( Read more... )

i have a disorder ( Read more... )

For some reason I get miserable whenever I feel I am too happy. And I’m supposed to be an optimist. When things are familiar I get nervous, I can never feel too comfortable. There are things I want to do and should do, but at times its like I doubt myself. I retreat back into the corners of my mind, shutting everyone out. Shutting myself out. My ( Read more... )

now its sunday night. the weekend is over and its back to the reality that is my life. kevin has come and gone. everytime its harder to watch him drive away. in this regard if the summer was to end tomorrow it would not be soon enough. we had a good cheesy date weekend. we went to the zoo, got ice cream, wore big goofy sunglasses and took pictures ( Read more... )

when you cry in the shower, everything feels like a tear.

xoxo

I’m taking my time listening to your questions that I’ll never really answer. I lie through my teeth when I hand out hugs to you. Someone I used to hug so often, everyday if the opportunity arose. As laughter leaves your lips all mine manage is a weak smile and an exaggerated head nod. I’ll speak in pros; let my tongue dance around this language ( Read more... )

i hate him right now. and he isnt even aware.

i have a hard spot in my heart caused by you
softened each time you smile my way
scarce as that is
pull that hat down over my eyes
hide that glare
it always was a question
the same one over and over
each syllable a bullet through the chest
i have a hard spot
im scared to ever let it go

xoxo

im bored so i just thought id think of some songs that remind me of the school year. songs we listened to all the time and had rock out parties to. it was a damn good year ( Read more... )

happy happy. kevin is comming today :) and im listening to movielife, id almost forgotten how much i like kellys song. my toe is really itchy and i have bug bites everywhere. there has been a lot of outside nights lately. its also been one big long party for the past two weeks. it reminds me of school, no parents, no one to tell you not to build ( Read more... )